Punishment of children: Why it is banned under God's Law

Many parents believe in punishing children. This is a common belief among American parents, many whom punish to the point of physically battering their children. It is a myth that the Bible allows for the punishment of children. The Bible forbids the punishment of children, when understood in context. God's Law is above the law of the land in the United States of America.

Christian love is the way of Christian parenting, and is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to putting children first, and parents last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to the children and their every need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect doesn't come from fearful compliance, but from restful trust in parents, with children being able to tell parents anything and everything under the sun that is on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Attachment parenting was the established norm in both Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with a young child being wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and an older child strapped to her back in a papoose bag. That was how children rested in relation to parents in biblical times.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch and speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This meant any offense perceived by the child, including punishment. The Apostle Paul was anti-spanking, in fact, as he was simply reiterating Jewish law in the Pauline Epistles, and Jewish law was opposed to punishing a child for anything, as this offended the child to the level of kidnapping. Paul himself supported the Law against punishment of children, as flawed as he was. Paul was rebuking Greek members of the Colossian church, from prison, for the misuse of the book of Proverbs to justify spanking children in particular, but by extension, all punishment imposed upon children. The rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses, meaning they are only relevant to the cultural and legal context of the time. This is because the verses do not refer to spanking, but to a specific, archaic form of judicial corporal punishment closely conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a final warning before putting an errant ADULT child to death, after adequate due process in a criminal court of law. MINOR children could not be whipped for anything, as that required a court order, and minor age was a legal defense under Jewish law (John 7:24). 

This means ALL punishment is banned under biblical law, and parents should at least strive not to punish their children at all. Punishment offends children, and comes from an entitled desire to control a child and the situation around a power struggle with a child. Parents instead are to form a secure parent-child bond, and the first 6 years to that bond is the most crucial, with those years defining the trajectory of the development of your bond with your child. Early Christian mothers bonded with their children during the first 6 years of their lives, and then some more once children became more mobile and played more freely. Up until age 6, a child in the Early Christian churches did not leave his/her mother's side, with mothers connecting with their child using skin-to-skin closeness, as children went naked everywhere they went, and mothers were also naked in the house. Mothers generally did not punish children, and fathers weren't allowed to punish children either under church ordinance.

Children do not learn by pain or punishment. They learn by absorbing what is in the environment around them, including the example of their parents. The ideal example for children is the Living Example of Christ, meaning if you are kind and charitable to your child, they will learn to treat others with such respect. The idea is to be an extension of Christ in your child's life, sacrificing for them as a Godhead, just as Christ sacrificed for God, with children being in place of God on earth. 

Most of what children are punished for is developmentally appropriate behavior, meaning behavior understandable given their age and development. Most childish behaviors that children exhibit are phases, meaning if you leave them go, they will go away on their own most of the time, and if they don't, they may have a developmental disorder such as autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), ADHD, and/or a mood disorder. Crying is normal behavior for younger children, and requires a response of empathetic listening, regardless of the age of the crying. Whining is the same way, as is pouting. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger using punishment will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!