Children lying: Why children lie to adults

Most parents have dealt with this. Their child lying or being deceitful. This is a common problem in American homes. The problem is the proposed solution to the problem - punishment. Most children lie to avoid punishment.

The problem of lying can be solved with Christian love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao). This means putting children first, and parents last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect does not come from fearful compliance, but a restful trust in parents, telling them anything and everything that is on their mind, including confessions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment in return. Children did not lie much in biblical times, but were instead brutally honest about what was on their mind, giving orders to their parents, and confessing with blind candor mischief they created in the neighborhood. Parents would not punish children for admitting to wrongdoing, but would simply instruct them on what to do instead, in a way that reassured guilt with grace and mercy towards the child who committed a moral crime. Children could not be judged for criminal acts or civil wrongs, as minor age was a legal defense under the Law.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law on punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. Greek Christians were plagiarizing the book of Proverbs to justify punitive parenting even back then, when the Epistle to the Colossians was delivered from the Apostle Paul's prison cell. The seven rod verses in Proverbs that depict the rod of correction do not refer to spanking, but to a form of judicial corporal punishment that is the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a last resort before putting an ADULT child to death. Fathers whipped their grown sons begrudgingly, subpoenaed by the religious authorities to administer the whipping. MINOR children could not be whipped, as a whipping could only occur by way of a criminal conviction, and minor age was a valid legal defense in any court of law, including the court of parents.

Punishment leads to lying. When a child is confronted with punishment if the truth comes out, they will hide the truth, and this means lying to hide the truth. Children, many times, don't tell the truth because they know that parents or similarly charged adults will punish them if they find out. This may create a superficial appearance of good behavior, but if a child is being punished, they will just misbehave away from the line of sight of adults.

Punishment is the problem here, not children themselves. If you want your child to be honest, you just have to be their confessor, and let them confess into you what they did wrong. Then, absolve them of sin by saying to them "you are forgiven". Most behaviors that children are punished for are developmentally appropriate behaviors, and thus these behaviors are phases. Children might go through a phase where they regularly destroy property, namely by drawing on the wall or knocking things over. They will not behave that way forever. All they need is love and a good example to go by. That also means YOU need to stop lying about things, or they may learn that it is "okay" that way.

A healthy child is brutally honest, in a tone-deaf manner. They admit things without knowing that they admitted them. An example would be that if a vase broke, the child who broke it would blindly say "yeah, we were playing ball in the house", and then they'd know that no punishment would be meted out. The right way is to show Christian grace towards your child, and absolve them of sin while explaining the broken vase as the reason why you play ball outside, not inside. A healthy child not only admits to wrongdoing, but is very clear about limits and boundaries they set with adults, meaning children feel free to make demands and orders as to their every need/want. Benign wants are needs, as they always are connected to attachment in some way - all the goodies they want come from YOU, and so they beg for them, for validation of your presence. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!