Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to rest and trust in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest and trust in Jesus Christ. Replace "obey" with "trust" and you come to a roughly better translation. This was a special form of trust, rooted in maternal warmth and sustenance, with parenting in biblical times being attachment-based in nature. Children were breastfed by their mothers everywhere until age 3, and were treated as infants behaviorally until then. Parents slept next to children until adulthood, and even into adulthood.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger imposed upon children, meaning all offenses against children, with "offense" being defined as the slightest of offense perceived by the child, stemming from parental entitlement. This commandment was delivered by the Apostle Paul with the intent of cracking down on the Hellenistic tradition of spanking children, which was protected by legal defense under Roman law, but not Jewish law. Christian law considered punishing or controlling a child to be kidnapping, meaning holding your child hostage to "teach a lesson".
Children were allowed to talk back to parents, and often did. Children issued demands and petitions for needs and a redress of grievances, and parents were to surrender to the every vulnerable need of a child, including attachment needs. The cries and orders of children convicted the sinful hearts of parents, rendering parents attendant to their child's needs, awe-struck with reverent fear and terror for their child and his/her every need. Children were convicting figures in ancient Judeo-Christian culture, and were seen as extensions of God in the family home (Matt. 25:31-46). In biblical times, children were both seen and heard, and were loved for their faults and mischief, not despite it. When children repeatedly misbehaved, parents pleaded like they would to God, hoping for an answer from their child, just as if they were hoping for answers from God. Children dictated their upbringing, and got a lot of what they wanted, with this building trust between parents.
If it comes from YOU, it is probably a need, and probably an attachment need, even if they shout it to you. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times, and attachment parenting is about secure attachment with parents, meaning the goal is to give them ALL of what they need, and when they can attach the item to you, it is an attachment need. Yes, buying goodies at the store is a need, as they then link it to YOU, meaning they are thankful and trusting in parents, even if they ask for more goodies and stuff from the store - they trust that they can always get what they need from you, and they think of YOU when they receive it and use it. Children know where gifts come from. Obviously, this will be difficult if there is no money, which young children can't comprehend at all until they are older due to their cognitive development.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger by silencing opposition will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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