The Fifth Commandment: Respect for parents understood in the biblical context

Many parents want to be respected, yet most insist and demand it, often using corporal punishment or other forms of punishment and control. Most parents support the use of controlling measures in parenting as a means of having control over their children, often citing the Fifth Commandment as an excuse for having children under their control. Parents are caregivers, not lawmakers, in the family home.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This last phrase sums up the need for the Fifth Commandment. In Caananite society, predating the Jewish uprising, children could be killed at will of the parents. After the Fifth Commandment was laid down, execution of children, in combination with the commandment "do not murder", putting down children had to go through the court system, meaning being a repeat criminal and embarrassing your parents was a moral crime punishable by stoning. No parent successfully had their child put down. Only adult children could be prosecuted under the new Law, and all whipping was in connection with a conviction of a capital offense by way of the authority of the Sanhedrin, or Jewish criminal court, and was done in the courtroom. No minor child could be charged with any offense, as they could not stand trial, and parents were culpable for the mishaps of their minor children. 

After the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ, with him enduring both capital and corporal punishment, both were abolished. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they become discourage.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to warmth and rest in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest securely and warmly in Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, who paid the ultimate price for His children. Respect for parents, as understood in the biblical context is closeness that leads to admiration for parents later on. Parenting in the biblical context was attachment-based, meaning respect was expressed by a secure bond with a parent on the sustenance level, meaning here intense closeness and intimacy between mother and child, with mothers treating children as old as age 3 being treated as infants behaviorally, and breastfed as such. Children went in the nude in the Bible, and that was to show their vulnerability, and so that they could co-sleep  next to mothers at night in the nude, with mothers and daughters being inseparable, usually being held by a papoose bag, perhaps underneath the gown worn by the mother. Both sexes were provided adequate skin-to-skin context. Children demanded things from parents, and parents provided needs and benign wants to children, then children rested with gratitude and thanksgiving in the love and grace of parents. Children in biblical times were needy, and parents surrendered to the needs and demands of their children, serving their needs and benign wants with a shamefaced smile, being convicted of their depraved nature by the cries of need and assistance from their child, being charitable to their children.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally refers to "stirring up" upset and resentment of children, as in "stirring the pot" in terms of your child's emotional welfare. This refers to offenses against children, meaning the slightest of personal offense, including all physical or other punishments of children, such as spanking and striking children out of punishment. The Apostle Paul was warning Greek Christian parents of the Law on parenting under Jewish law, as Greco-Roman society relied heavily on punishment as means to control children, when Judeo-Christian parenting was not even about control. The Apostle Paul handed out parenting manuals that recommended attachment parenting, with parents being the Living Example of Christ, being selfless to their child's demands in a way that models selflessness in children.

Do not mold your children, but mold yourself into how you want them to turn out. If you want your children to remain quiet for three hours, you be quiet for that long. Use speech control yourself if you want your child to use it, and model that attitude for them. The parental role is one of both example and confidant, with one leading to the other, meaning show a good, selfless example to children, and then be selfless with them in the process, letting them confide in you in their every concern and upset, meaning children should be able to tell parents anything...and that was how things were in biblical times. Parents would relocate just because one child hated a certain aspect of the residence, meaning 

Respect then was a form of closeness to parents in childhood, meaning in terms of secure attachment to parents. This lead to admiration of parents, and then compliance. Children then indeed respected parents close to blindly as adults, and that is because they trusted in parents strongly as their elders, being proud of their parents and praising of their parents, therefore honoring their parents based on earned respect, not respect demanded. Respect for parents was admiration and fondness for parents, not fear of parents, and happened in young adulthood then, not early childhood. Early childhood was all about using parents and parents allowing themselves to be used, like a milking-cow or a vending machine.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!