Time-out: Why it is for parents, not children

Many parents believe in time-out as a disciplinary technique in parenting. It is a common alternative to spanking that most anti-spanking parents use. Time-out in that order is sin. However, time-out does have a meaning in attachment parenting.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to wanting things from or of a child to the point of seeking to impose said want onto a child, leading to abuse by way of offense perceived. This includes forcing a child to sit in a chair, or sit quietly in their room. However, the parents can take a break as well.

Time-out, in attached, gentle parenting, is when you take a break as a parent. The idea is attached detachment, meaning remaining attached and loving to your child, but take a break when you are stressed or exhausted. Parents have basic human rights, meaning including water, food, and fresh air. That's it. This amounts to a break when someone else is watching the child, for purposes of regrouping one's emotions.

Read a book, take a walk, talk to a friend on the telephone, and so forth. Pedophilic parents have the right to their own body in terms of indulgence in sexual fantasy, and if you are attracted to your child, leave some space in your sexual fantasies for your image of them. Pedophilic fantasy, since it can't go anywhere, is simply a time-out for pedophiles to regroup their sexual feelings for children, and channel them inward.

Time-in is better than time-out for children. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your children in all things, as is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to respect for parents, which includes closeness leading to fondness and admiration for parents. Children were constantly close to parents in the biblical context, with this closeness being intense, in the form of deep intimacy between mother and child. This context, today, translates to time-in, meaning skin-to-skin contact for children of all ages, whenever possible, whenever a child is having a meltdown. "Do you need to snuggle?" should be asked first, to ensure consent - some children are not touchy-feely, and need their space (every child is different in terms of attachment language). If they are aggressive, the best way to deal with it is pro-social punching bag, meaning this form of time-in involves a case of parent abuse, meaning not really abuse since it comes from a child. Just let the child beat you up, let your tears flow early, and then usually bipolar rages in children stop when the parent is in tears, in most cases, then wanting to "cover up the mess". Certain children prey on authoritarian might in parenting, meaning they prey on defensive anger from parents, and they usually have a mood disorder, and the word "no" usually is enough to startle them, and send them into a rage. I was one of those children, and I still prey on defensiveness, particularly when the defensive person has a guilty conscience.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and literally refers to "stirring up" upset and resentment in children, as in the Jewish adage of "stirring the pot" regarding your child's emotional welfare, ultimately cross-referencing offenses against children, namely the slightest of offense perceived by the child. This included corporal punishment, and any other form of punishment or control in parenting. This command was uplifted from the Law to prohibit spanking, corporal punishment, and other forms of punitive parenting, with it usually being considered kidnapping, with the church community seeing as "deserving of death, even though Christ spared you on the cross" as a grateful statement towards the perpetrator. Any anger outside of court auspices was considered a form of entitlement leading to abuse, with children not being able to stand trial for moral crimes they committed (their parents apologized in court for them). Corporal punishment existed in the Old Testament, but not the Early Christian context, and was a sentence for crime, and a warning that re-offending would lead to the death penalty being imposed. Christ abolished the death penalty and corporal punishment, for enduring both when sacrificing for our sins on the cross. The Apostle Paul was rebuking Greek Christian parents, with Hellenistic culture surrounding the church community at Colossae relying heavily on corporal punishment and other punitive measures as a form of controlling children, when in Judeo-Christian parenting, control was not the goal, with children instead being providing custody, meaning parents caregivers and not lawgivers. Paul would have none of it in the churches he oversaw as a deacon - he lifted up the commandment against kidnapping straight to the Colossians, and to the rest of Christendom, for all time.

Punishing a child with time-out would also have been seen as kidnapping under the Law. Anything that held a child at bay, in a hostage-taking manner, even in terms of menacing threat, is kidnapping under the Law of Moses (i.e. "found in his hand" in Exod. 21:16). The Law was not abolished by Christ, but fulfilled. Nothing in the Law is mandatory for Christians unless it is uplifted in the New Testament in the form of cross-referencing statutes. The Law against kidnapping is repeated many times, and is repeated in relation to children in Col. 3:21 and Eph. 6:4.

Time-out for parents is not prohibited under any biblical statute. In the Early Church, most Christians lived in farm huts, and when they needed a break from the children, they sent them out to play, with the other parent supervising. All parents need a break from their children. Pedophilic fathers in biblical times masturbated to thoughts of their children, as a form of re-channeling of sexual desires away from offending the child sexually. If you don't take care of your own feelings, and give yourself a break, you cannot be a good parent. Just find a time to do it when it doesn't inconvenience your child, such as taking a relaxing bath late at night, when the children are asleep, or else maybe doing more than just bathing if you have sexual desires for your child.

Feel free to take a break as a parent. Time-out is for parents, not children.