Why discipline is for the parent, not the child: Understanding strictness in parenting

Most parents are proud of themselves for being strict. I am actually not entirely against strictness. I myself am a conservative Christian, and believe children ideally should has self-control and self-discipline, especially when older. Why "ideally"? I do not believe I have the right to control the world or other people or make other people do what I want them to do, and that includes children. Family values prohibit using the word "make" to control your neighbor, like a spoiled, entitled brat who wants what they want, when they want. Like royalty. I'm not that kind of scum, and don't like being lumped in with that kind of scum, even if I'm nice about it. Discipline is for the parent, not the child, to take up.

It says in Hebrews 12:11 KJV:

No now chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterwards it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness which are exercised thereby.

The Greek root word translated "chastening" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to the attitude and morale of discipline a parent should have while raising children. The Greek root word translated "grievous" is λυπέ (Latin: lupé) and refers to a certain type of grief and anxiety that, once endured all the way through, leads to strength and self-improvement in a parent. This can and should include enduring any triggering behavior from children, as stated in the commandment to turn the other cheek (Matt. 5:38-39). When a child is upset and/or rebellious, shut up, and take their anger, and not only that, but reassure it.

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, as is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; May it be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is the same as in Heb. 12:11, and is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to co-regulation, meaning parents using behaviorism on themselves instead of children, in a way that spares the children of punishment or control. The parent disciplines and controls themselves in a warm, gentle way that children are listened to, and validated, much like a sounding board. It is being a shelter towards one's child. This word also refers to religious instruction, which was based on Socratic principles then for Christian children, meaning that a child could question his father's biblical interpretation, and if he provided enough evidence, the taught interpretation would change. Parents were to be strict with themselves, instead of being strict with their children, with that strictness being emulated by their children, out of trust and fondness for their parents. This is an instinctive process, and one that has been used for millennia in various ancient cultures, in both healthy and unhealthy ways. The nation of Israel perfected it, and the Bible was written by God to uplift these attachment parenting principles, and spread them throughout Western civilization, including as the Christian family values in which this nation was founded upon. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to setting boundaries and limits, in a direct, verbal manner, and only rarely. 

Children, in early Christian culture, were pretty much left to be themselves, ranged close to their mother, with their father standing by. The word "no" was the harshest a Christian parent was in the 1st Century. If a child continued most childish behaviors, the parents let it go and/or strongly supervised it, depending on how dangerous the behavior was. Sometimes, parents offered pro-social help by removing children from hazards such as snakes, rats, and other vermin. Parents followed their instincts in that culture. The last command in Ephesians 6:4 involves the Apostle Paul convicting certain Greco-Roman fathers in Ephesus, referring to the fact that inflicting any sort of damages upon a child, meaning the slightest of personal slights perceived by the child is abuse, particularly when stemming from entitlement. Greek fathers were prone to physical punishment of their wives and children, with Roman law seeing them as chatter. The Law prevailed, and treated children and women as human beings under the care and providence of a male head of household, and ordered parents not to demand anything in return from children. The Greek root word translated "obey" in vs. 1 is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to surrender and rest in relation to parents, while receiving care and support from parents, on an equal yet slightly lower level from the parent, with the parent having to take up the cross, and sacrifice for their children as Christ did for His children. Obedience is simply resting comfortably in that sacrifice of parents, owing nothing in return to parents. Christian love for children is submission to the every need of children as their enemy, as one does not know what childhood really is like, as they have forgotten such. It is convicting yourself as the entitled parent/adult that you are, leading to selfless, Christ-like acts of service towards children, in an attendant manner.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for the devil and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!