Many here in the gentle parenting community hate the term "obedience". I, myself, hold a differing theology to many here, meaning I am old school in the sense that I obey the higher powers as a general rule, meaning anyone making the rules in relation to me. My Christian beliefs are rooted in the concept of obedience. I also obey and honor my parents. The latter one feels very different from the others, meaning obedience from your child is earned, not given for free on a silver platter.
It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and mother, as this is the first commandment with promise; May it be well with thee, and may thou live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition.
The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to parents providing care, comfort, and accountability towards children in the form of providing custody. True providing custody is not temporary, but lasts until age 18, and involves care for a child that is likened to a filing folder, with parents being able to file through each file, and you, the child, not fear it one bit. It is being looked down through like a lamp that sees all of you, and accepts you as the individual nonetheless, as that lamp does not burn one's skin when fully lit...Parents can just see through you, and your intent, and you don't care - you happily share everything about you and your whereabouts to parents.
The Greek word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to co-regulation, in scientific terminology. This means basically that a parent remains calm and stoic, but in a warm and listening way that serves as a sounding board, meaning reflective listening, thus modeling such self-control and self-discipline to the child. Discipline is for the parent to adhere to, and the child to emulate. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to setting boundaries and limits, namely the word "no" or its various variants. Negative boundaries should be stated rarely, with children learning most things from exemplary or verbal instruction. Basically, children need boundaries, limit, and instruction as to what is right from wrong.
Parents are not to punish their child, as punishment violates trust, and true compliance in a child is cooperation, not fear of authority of punishment. I myself can share anything with my mother, so why not listen to her. Not every child whose parents are gentle parents has the low level bond that I have with my mother. I disclosed pedophilic disorder to my mother back in 2013, and some years later got a therapist. I can now tell my mother anything, say whatever is on my mind, and I know she'll never punish me.
Let the parents BURN! Let the parents languish in torrents of fire and burning sulfur, prepared for Satan and his accomplices, namely parents who defend child abuse. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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