Many parents think that the Bible is a pro-spanking document. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents quote several verses in Proverbs, with the verses summed up by the phrase "spare the rod, spoil the child". However, the fact of the matter is that the Bible is an anti-spanking document.
One verse in Proverbs that is commonly cited by pro-spanking activists is Proverbs 13:24 KJV:
He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
The Greek root word translated "son" is ben and refers here to a mature son. The Greek root word translated "rod" is shebet and refers in the context of Proverbs to a switch. Ultimately, this passage refers to the 40 minus 1 lashes, administered in a courtroom, as a final warning before putting the errant son to death. This punishment was only administered to legal adults, meaning adults above the age of majority. Minor children could never be whipped for anything.
The 40 minus 1 lashes is a repealed legal punishment for errant sons. The reason for this commandment is that otherwise, fathers might just have refused to whip his son. The father only whipped his children because he was deputized by the court to do so. Otherwise, fathers were not allowed to strike their adult child at all. This legal punishment under the Law was repealed by Christ's Work on the cross, meaning Christ ended the harsh punishments of the Old Testament by Sacrificing Himself on the cross, as was prophesied in the Old Testament.
No verse in Proverbs refers to spanking as a domestic punishment for minor children. However, God does weigh in on the spanking issue in the New Testament. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to stop spanking or punishing your child - you need to avoid offense in your child. The key to avoiding offense in children is to apologize whenever you hurt your child's feelings. It is especially imperative that you formally apologize when you lose your cool with your child, as parent anger directed towards children, in and of itself, is entitlement. However, even defending the so-called "right" to offend your child alone is entitlement. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church their pagan custom of patrias potestas, which is a Latin phrase roughly translated to "power to the parent", including the power of parents to impose punitive sanctions on children, such as spanking and other forms of punishment. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Attachment parenting was banned under Roman law, but the Early Christians did it anyway, obeying God over men.
The book of Proverbs was not intended for parenting advice. The Hebrew name for that book is mishle, and simply translates to "poetry". The verses depicting the rod were not intended by God to be a full-on command, but rather it was seen as wisdom, meaning a gentle nudge to keep your son accountable if he violates the Law. Nowhere else in the Hebrew Bible is the rod of correction mentioned, with the rod being used as a metaphor for enduring hardship in the book of Hebrews.
The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
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