The word "no": Why children need to hear the word "no" seldom (meaning almost never)

Many parents think that they need to use the word "no" frequent and often. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents tell their children "no" all of the time. However, the fact of the matter is that children need to hear the word "no" seldom, meaning almost never. Instead, children should hear your "yes" far more often than your "no". 

Saying "yes" to children frequently is a part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, with the burden of proof falling squarely on the part of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers here to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This highlighted word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to perform good works for children, with children resting securely in the good works of parents. Good works are defined here as doing good things for children, meeting their every vulnerable need, expecting absolute nothing in return. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refer here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of s child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as deacon.

The word "no", when used frequently, constitutes child abuse under the biblical definition. Whenever a child hears the word "no", it offends them. When parents defended their choice to say "no" to a child all of the time, they were deemed parent entitled as parents. The only way to righteously offend your child is to reassure children of your good intentions, in a gentle parenting voice, like only a gentle parent could do. 

Under the customary law of the time, the word "no" was used seldom by parents, meaning almost never. Christian parents in the Early Church were only allowed to say "no" to a child under the strictest of circumstances, namely when the petitioned request from a child was unsafe, unworkable, and/or immoral. Even then, parents usually used nicer sounding language than a flat out "no", with phrases such as "that won't work" or "that can't happen".

The depraved and entitled parents who punished their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!