Righteous ordering: Why parents should heel to their children's commands

Many parents think that their children should obey their command. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents think that children should heel to their command. However, the Bible, when understood in context, says that parents are to heel to the command of their children. This setup is known by the acronym righteous ordering.

The concept of righteous ordering is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to a secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child in the family home. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to their children just as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return. See also Matt. 22:35-40.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. The parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child ho-stage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time as a deacon.

Parents are to heel to the commands of their children. That means children have the right to order their parents around. In most cases. parents in the Early Church were required by way of customary law to heel to the commands of their children. The only exception was if the child ordered the parents to do something unworkable, unsafe, or immoral. Even then, parents usually came to a compromise with their children before saying "no". When the child was told "no" by parents, the parents were required to reassure and validated the upset that might stem from hearing the word "no".

Parents are to heel to the commands of their children, as their child is an extension of God extended to their doorstep for love and charity. Children are extensions of God, meaning parents are to heel to their children as they would to the commands of God. Children are among the "least of these", and thus whatever you do towards a child, you do towards God. See Matt. 25:31-46.

Children growing up in the Early Church got most all of what they wanted, and absolutely everything that they needed. Children who cried in biblical times were seen as giving a summonses for mothers to rush in and coo at the child, before picking them up and diagnosing the need. Maybe the child was tired. Maybe the child was hungry. Maybe the child needed mom's milk. Maybe the child needed mom, period.

Righteous ordering is like going to a restaurant. You can have it your way, but it has to be on the menu. If an item isn't on the menu anymore, the waitress is kind about it, even if you aren't. Parents are there for children to use for pretty much anything, like a sponge or a milking-cow. Parents are to be treated by their children in an objectifying way, in the form of righteous usage. Being a parent should be like being a waitress at a restaurant. Children give the orders, and parents do their very best to serve their children, waiting on them hand and foot, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!