Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this is not a spanking passage

Many parents support punitive parenting. Most American parents use religion as an excuse for child abuse. One passage that has been used time and time again to argue for punitive parenting is Hebrews 12:5-8. This passage holds together the rod verses, and is the main case that the pro-spanking parents make in favor of punishing children.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure.  chastening, God dealeth with you as son; for what son is he who the father chasteneth not. But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards and not sons.

This passage was intended by the Apostle Paul as comfort in the midst of the Hebrew Christians being persecuted by the Romans. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers figuratively to the 40 minus 1 lashes. In Ancient Greek, there existed rod language. In the Early Church, after a long day at work, you said "God whipped me hard today". God whips His children, like only He can. God sends trials and tribulations our way. However, God whips His children only when it does not cause harm, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it does cause harm. Thus, earthly parents should parent as comes naturally, meaning attachment parenting. 

Heb. 12:5-8 is not a parenting verse, meaning Heb. 12:5-8 does not refer at all to earthly parenting. However, two passages in the Pauline Epistles relate to proper Christian parenting. One notable passage is Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; for this is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. This word ultimately refers to a secure attachment between parent and child. This secure attachment comes from parent submission, where parents are to submit to children as they would to God, from beneath yet from above, expecting absolutely nothing in return.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings. Paul may not have gotten along with the women of the church, but he sure loved children, and even took in a few orphaned children during his time. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers got out the scourge of cords in order to punish their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were largely persecuted for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with children then following in the footsteps of parents. Children in biblical times were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught showing good traits - such as taking turns, being patient, or showing self-control - they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise by fathers when caught being good, whereas girls were given a side embrace by fathers when caught being good. Children also needed religious instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the instruction of the Lord. In biblical times, fathers left out an Aramaic copy of the Hebrew Bible for children to discover and explore. Once children were caught reading the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged with phrases such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious instruction came in question and answer format, with children being eager to learn the facts of life, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. Children have a certain religious development. Starting at age 6, children started exploring Scripture. At first, children had simplistic religious beliefs that did not conform to any religious denomination. But, as they got older, they started to conform to a specific religious denomination.

What motivates a child to hear out the warning of fathers? What better way than for children to have a secure attachment to mothers? For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever mothers went, so did the child. For the first 2 years of childhood, children were constantly held, either in mother's arms, or else in a papoose bag on mom's back when she was busy. When the child was aged 2-6, children ranged themselves next to mothers, following her from room to room, not allowing mom out of their sight. The worst fear of a child that age is mom "going away and never coming back". Mothers had to constantly reassure their child of her presence. Whenever a child cried. mothers cooed before picking up their child, holding the child in her arms in skin-on-skin mammary closeness. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy, with this co-sleeping usually lasting until the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep.

Mothers nurture up close, and fathers nurture from afar, with the secure attachment to fathers being secondary to that of mothers. Fathers had a sexual attachment to their children, especially their daughter, with daughters also being attracted to fathers, like a criss-cross. It is a myth that fathers had their way with daughters. Instead, fathers masturbated righteously, spending away their parent attraction. Fathers kept their distance from their children, only stepping in to praise and encourage good behavior in children. Whenever children cried, mothers stepped in, and never fathers, and mothers never handed the child to fathers for "correction" when they wouldn't stop crying. Instead, mothers found some way to deal with a crying child. The most fathers would do was coo alongside the mother when the child cried. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!