Proverbs 13:24: Why the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses

Many parents support punishing their children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents cite the rod verses in Proverbs, usually Proverbs 13:24, as a primary source for their arguments in favor of punitive parenting. The fact of the matter is that all of the rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses.

It says in Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

This verse refers to judicial corporal punishment, not domestic corporal punishment. Ultimately, this passage refers specifically to the 40 minus 1 lashes, a dated punishment with no application to today. The 40 minus 1 lashes was a form of judicial corporal punishment that took place upon a young adult's conviction of a capital offense. One of the more common reasons for the application of  the 40 minus 1 lashes on a young adult was clear and blatant elder abuse, namely gaslighting parents to send them places, beating them up, or committing crimes in their name. No young adult was ever put to death after being whipped one last time. No child was ever whipped, period, as they were not fluent in the Law. Today, this verse, and the other four in Proverbs, are repealed verses. 

These verses only apply to the context in which they were given, We are not under the punishments of the Law of Moses, as Christ abolished all judicial corporal punishment and capital punishment of the Law of Moses by His Sacrifice on the cross. The scourge of cords was used by fathers under Roman law, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were hated largely for being "too soft" on their children.

Nowhere in the book of Proverbs is parenting dependent children even discussed. However, there are plenty of parenting verses in the New Testament. See Ephesians 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and thy mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, with parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This form of surrender to parents came with strings attached for the parents, with children issuing lawfully binding orders, usually when parents weren't pulling their weight around the house.

The Greek root word translated "provoke....to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of  Greek Christians in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may not have gotten along with women, but he sure loved children, and took in orphaned children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here,, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with their children following in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the disciplined example of parents, they were given lavish praise and encouragement to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise when caught being good, whereas girls were given snuggles and other physical affection when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents could only give advice when needed, or otherwise counsel a crying or upset child. Otherwise, children called the shots in Christian homes, and could issue lawfully binding orders.

Discipline is necessary for children. This is not up for debate. But, good Christian discipline comes from a good Christian example. That example does not, however, need to be reinforced with punishment. Christian fathers in the Early Church reinforced a disciplined example with lavish praise and encouragement. This reinforced good behavior, with children absorbing the example of their parents incrementally, with each increment being met with praise and encouragement.

What ultimately motivated children to absorb the chastening of the Lord? Ultimately, it boiled down to a secure attachment, primarily with mothers, and secondarily with fathers. During the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning that wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever a child cried, mothers swooped in to the rescue, cooing at their upset child before holding them next to their bosom in mammary closeness. When out and about, children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, and co-sleeping continued until the child reached the onset of puberty, when children wanted their own place to sleep.

The abovementioned up close nurturing by mothers led to nurturing from afar by fathers. Fathers passed down the faith by placing a Bible for the child to see. When the child picked up the Bible and read it, they were praised by fathers with statements such as "that book is good for you". From there, religious education was an ongoing conversation, with children insisting that parents obey the Law, and fathers giving children pointers about the context.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!