Christian attachment parenting: Why attachment parenting is a Christian tradition

Many parents think that punitive parenting is the way to raise a child, and is the only way to raise a child. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents see punitive parenting as church tradition. The fact of the matter is that the Bible itself prohibits punitive parenting, and commands attachment parenting.

Christian attachment parenting is summed up by the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This surrender to parents comes with strings attached for parents, where children issued righteous demands to parents, especially when parents weren't doing their fair share around the house.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργιζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including, but not limited to, any punishments, reprimands, or other controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents in the parish at Ephesus who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his secular writings. Paul may have not gotten along with women, but he sure loved children, and took in orphaned children. Indeed, Greco-Roman fathers used the scourge of cords on their children, but NOT the Christians among them - the Early Christians were hated largely for being "too soft" on their children.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling and encouraging Christian discipline in children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, coming from a sinful nature, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, with their children then following in their footsteps. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. Whenever children were caught emulating the Christian example of parents, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to "keep headed down the straight path". Boys were given manly praise from fathers when caught being good, and girls were given snuggles and physical affection from fathers when caught being good. Sometimes, children needed direct parental instruction. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers to the advice and counsel of parents, meaning parents were only allowed to give advice as needed, and also counsel their children when crying or upset.

Christian attachment parenting is known for the fact that it comes with discipline. This discipline is meted out by parents modeling an undeserving attitude to children. Then, when the child emulates the undeserving example of parents, fathers lavishly praised and encouraged children for being "headed down the straight path". The praise reinforced good behavior in children. Children absorbed the good example of parents in increments, with each increment being praised. Children were praised for things such as showing self-control or patience. 

What ultimately motivates the chastening of the Lord in children? Good discipline is motivated by a secure attachment, primarily to mothers, and secondarily to fathers. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning wherever the mother went, so did the child. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, where mother and child were in the nude next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. Whenever a child cried, mothers swooped in to the rescue, and cooed at her child, then picking the child up, before placing the child next to her bosom in mammary closeness. Young children under age 6, when out and about, were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets. Come nightfall, children co-slept next to mothers in skin-on-skin format, with this skin-on-skin bedtime closeness, in most cases, ending once the child reached the onset of puberty. Once the child reached the onset of puberty, they, in most cases, wanted a place of their own to sleep.

The abovementioned close nurturing by mothers led to the far away nurturing of fathers. Fathers nurtured using their sexual drive, but did it from a distance. Fathers usually had parent attractions towards their children. Fathers in Ancient Jewish culture, unlike other cultures, did not sexually correct their children. Fathers instead masturbated to sexual thoughts of their child, which centered the sexual desires of fathers towards their children, and came out as a male nurturing instinct.

Attachment parenting is a Christian tradition predating the Early Church. We as a nation glean from the Bible and its context. It is a myth that punitive parenting is in our traditions. How society is run in a religious society like ours is dictated by the Bible and its context. The Hebraic context of the Bible is clear in its support for attachment parenting. The text of the New Testament lifts up this context for all to see and hear. God cast a dominion over all mankind, yet only a few will heed the warning.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!