Temper tantrums: How to deal with temper tantrums (and how to prevent them)

Many parents think that temper tantrums are deserving of punishment. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents either yell at or punish children who throw temper tantrums. The fact of the matter is that temper tantrums are not bad behavior, but are manifestations of unmet needs. Young children up until age 6 need constant closeness and intimacy.

The solution to temper tantrums is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. Mutual submission is where children rest securely and vulnerably in the loving arms of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. This implies that parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of parent submission. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Temper tantrums are a common facet of modern parenting. Most American parents have children who throw temper tantrums, if not all. Today, most parents punish temper tantrums in children, and assume that this is how it was done in biblical times. It wasn't. In biblical times, parenting was entirely different from conventional American parents. 

Temper tantrums in biblical times usually occurred at home, and were stopped before they erupted into full blown kicking and screaming. Whenever a child started crying at home, the mother immediately cooed and picked up the child. Mother and child lived in a state of birth nudity, where mother and child were naked next to each other, in skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy. In that environment, even picking up a child gave them ample skin-on-skin comfort. If the child absolutely wouldn't stop crying, the mother co-snuggled with the child in the fetal position, in skin-on-skin format.

When in public, perhaps when gathering pales of water, Christian mothers in the Early Church swaddled young children under age 6 next to their bosom in swaddling blankets. This led to children crying silently instead of loudly when they needed something, in which case the mother simply held the child closer and cooed, perhaps allowing the child to suckle her teat. The swaddling blankets were tied to the mother's left breast on one end, and then were tied on the other end, across the dot, to her right leg, or vice versa, or both in the case of twins, with the swaddling blankets tucked underneath the mother's loose, revealing dress. Children were naked when out and about. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!