Hebrews 12:5-8: Why this is not a spanking passage

Many parents support their so-called "right" to punish their child. This a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents reserve their "right" to punish their children. Parents commonly justify their behavior by using Scripture. A common passage used in the defense of pro-spanking parents is Hebrews 12:5-8. This passage, when interpreted properly, comforts me, as it refers to trials and tribulations, not an earthly parent punishing their children. The passages in Hebrews are said to hold together the case for spanking and punishing children.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-8 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son who he believeth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

This passage was intended to comfort the Hebrew Christians concerning the Roman persecution that they faced. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers to, in a reminiscent way, to the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, which was practiced only in the Old Testament, and never in the New Testament among Christians. This reference to the rod of correction is a figurative one, meaning Paul here was using rod language. Rod language is figurative language in the Hebraic languages that refers to enduring hardship. In Israel today, when speaking Hebrew, you wouldn't say "I had a bad day at work", you would instead say "God whipped me hard today". The Early Christians did not invoke the 40 minus 1 lashes at all, and only allowed physical discipline in the realm of a marriage, as a means to ease out bad habits. God whips His children, like only He can, sending trials and tribulations their way. But, God only whips His children when it isn't harmful, whereas earthly parents only whip their children when it is harmful. Therefore, earthly parents are commanded to use natural parenting, meaning attachment parenting, to bring up their children.

Heb. 12:5-8 is not about parenting at all, but was intended for a specific context, to comfort a specific group of people. I apply it today for my own comfort when faced with a stressful situation - I try to remember that God is whipping me, for my own good, like only He can, and that I will turn out stronger in the end. The Bible does have valid parenting passages, namely in the New Testament. See Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and submission of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the wake of parent submission. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church at Ephesus. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to here, in this context, modeling Christian discipline to children. The Christian standard of discipline is deserving of absolutely nothing, therefore grateful for absolutely everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. Christian parents in the Early Church centered their entitlement in view of their children, and then their children followed suit. Children, in biblical times, were caught being good, instead of being caught being bad. Whenever a child was caught emulating the disciplined example of parents - perhaps by way of showing self-control or giving up something that they really wanted - the child was given lavish praise and encouragement to "keep going down the straight path". Sometimes, parents had to give direct instruction to children. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) refers to direct parental instruction. However, parents were not allowed to give lawfully binding orders to children, and so parents pleaded with children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, knowing they'd get nothing in return. Parents asked politely and humbly for favors from their children, from the bottom of their heart, saying "please" and "thank you" in the process.

Ancient Jewish society, including the Early Church, was a child worshipping society that practiced attachment parenting. The Early Christians practiced birth nudity, meaning mothers and children were naked next to each other, with children going naked wherever they went. For the first 6 years of a child's life, children were in constant closeness with mothers, following her everywhere in the house, even to the cauldron where dinner was cooking, perhaps helping out mom do her chores. When out and about, children were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, tucked under the loose, revealing dress of mothers. Children after age 6 played freely outside, venturing farther and farther from home, but then retreating once more to the sustaining warmth of mothers, in the form of skin-on-skin co-sleeping. Co-sleeping ended when the child hit puberty, which was when the child wanted their own place to sleep. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!