Oppositional-defiant disorder: Why children with ODD need less limits (not more)

Many parents think that oppositional-defiant disorder (ODD) is a manufactured disorder in children. This is a common myth about children with ODD. Most parents think that children with ODD need more limits, and then the disorder would go away instantly. Well, some children seem to have a mind of their own, and isn't that what we want? The acronym for how to deal with a child with ODD is righteous parent abuse. Some children are so strong-willed, that you need to take their abuse.

Righteous parent abuse is part of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission, in the context of a child that is exceptionally defiant and oppositional. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be disorder. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punish their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up the Law in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child in his writings.

Mothers in biblical times sometimes had "stand-beside-me" children. This category of child was a child that rejected the closeness of mothers from early on. And so, they walked beside parents. Usually, these children would be diagnosed today as having some sort of oppositional-defiant disorder. Children would hit, kick, and bite in order to get that they wanted and needed from their mothers, and mothers simply gave up any fight they had with their child, and gave in to the orders of their children. Children had lawful authority over their parents, and could issue lawful orders to parents. Usually, this came in the form of crying or whining. A child with ODD would bark orders at parents directly, and beat their parents if parents didn't obey, and parents knew they just had to put up with the abuse coming from their child. Children were seen in biblical times as vulnerable extensions of God, and parents were not to speak against their children. Children were held in high honor, and the highest honor went to stand-beside-me children.

Righteous parent abuse means that some children are abusers, but since you are their parent, you are still responsible to them. This means parents must take the abuse of their child with ODD. Usually, this means taking a good beating every now and then from your child, and maybe laughing about it later when the child isn't around. Know that you are a depraved and decadent sinner as a parent, and are deserving of absolutely nothing from your child.

ODD is a disorder secondary to another disorder, usually autism, ADHD, and/or bipolar disorder. Usually, relief of ODD symptoms comes from medication, but some cases are medication resistant. The central understanding of ODD is locus of control, meaning a child with ODD wants control over everyone and everything in their environment, and when they don't get control, they go off. The idea is to righteously cave to the control of your child with ODD. Once they have some control in their life, they will be better off, and you will be better able to form a secure attachment to them. The form of attachment that these children need is policing attachment, where they can bark orders whenever they need something. Reverse policing is where parents treat children like the police, meaning give up the fight with your child, and give in to their orders and demands. That's the only way to deal with such a child, at least until they can be stabilized with psychotropic medication.

I myself am being medicated for ODD that I had as a child. I just didn't want to be controlled by anyone, not even circumstances. So, when I felt like I was being controlled, I controlled back, and then I got into trouble. Lithium carbonate saved my life. I was hesitant to try it, but it worked, and I even felt better. But, I wish my parents weren't as controlling as they were. That way, I could have gotten along with them better.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!