Discipline: How to teach discipline to children - without spanking or punishment

Many parents want to teach discipline to their children. This is a common goal for parents to set for their children. Most parents want their children to be disciplined and chastened up, at least by young adulthood. However, most parents think that the only way to instill discipline in a child is to punish them. However, discipline can be taught without punishing a child.

Discipline is the absence of entitlement. The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, entitlement is the slightest of unattainable want. When what you want will lead to a temper tantrum upon hearing the word "no", don't want it, and avoid that want at all costs. Most entitlement comes from a deserving place, where the person feels that they are deserving of things in life just for existing. The fact of the matter is that YOU, as the parent, are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, and thus is to be grateful for everything. This avoidance of entitlement chastens up the individual, as denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia), which denotes Christian discipline based on an attitude of being deserving of nothing and grateful for everything. Children are watching, and if they see discipline in parents, they will have discipline themselves, to the degree that parents do.

A disciplined example is good for children to follow. But, every good example has to be backed up by something. Punitive parenting only alienates children from the faith, and drives them away from the Truth. Attachment parenting is the only way to back up a good Christian example, and is time-honored and time-tested throughout human history. Christian attachment parenting is based on the doctrine of mutual submission to back up a good disciplined example from parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblcal times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children, up until age 6, never left the side of mothers, ranging beside her at home, clinging to her when crying or upset. When children cried or were upset, mothers held children close to their bosom in skin-on-skin mammary closeness, reassuring children with the words "this too will pass". When out and about, mothers wrapped up children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, perhaps allowing the child to suckle their teat if they are milk-hungry. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children in order to form a secure attachment with her children, and in order to protect her children against all predatrory threats, including the sexual entitlement of fathers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment with children by way of witnessing skin-on-skin closeness between mother and child, and wanting in by way of a sexual attachment to the child. Fathers imprinted on their children by way of masturbatory orgasm, with this imprinting leading to a closer relationship between fathers and children, especially fathers and daughters. Usually, this was a playful, silly type of relationship, that also was encouraging towards bold feats of independence at times. Mothers were the more serious of parents, but in a warm and gentle type of way. Fathers were only allowed access to children with the mother's permission, and could only touch the child to the degree that the child allowed...This context is applicable today just as it was in the days of old, albeit with some tweaking. 

Attachment parenting is the only way to teach discipline to your child. All you have to do is impart a disciplined example, and have a secure attachment with your child to back that example up, and then the child will absorb your disciplined, non-entitled example, and will want to be like you. When you have a secure attachment to your child, your child wants to be like you, and thinks you are the coolest person on earth. They go through a period where they are dependent on you, and cry for all their needs. Then, at some point in adolescence, they start pushing to do everything on their own, and it seems to come out of nowhere. Usually, children raised in this way are resilient and tough, and can take any insult and not get offended. Attachment parenting, through having a secure attachment, is what backs up a disciplined example. There is no need to strike or punish a child in order to "discipline" them. Just have discipline yourself, and model it to them, while having a secure attachment to them.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!