Child discipline: How to discipline your child the right way (meaning without punishment or force)

Most parents want children to have discipline. This is a common desire amongst American parents. However, most American parents think that discipline equates to punishment. However, the biblical tradition of child discipline involves catching children being good, as opposed to catching them being bad.

Child discipline is spelled out in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers here to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child discipline should never come with a child being offended. It is not enough to give up spanking or punishing children - you need to avoid the slightest of offense perceived by a child. The only way to fully avoid guilt under the first stanza of this commandment is to be willing to give a meaningful apology whenever you offend your child, especially if you lose your cool with your child. Whenever you refuse to apologize to an upset child, you are entitled. This stanza of the commandment in Eph. 6:4 cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul convicting the Greek Christians at Ephesus of how to properly discipline their children, with this proper discipline meaning without punitive measures of any kind. This first stanza clarifies for the second that discipline be gentle and encouraging in nature, meaning not punitive in nature. 

The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin" paideia) and refers here to a specific type of nurturing, namely of the teaching type. Whenever a child was caught in the act of being good, they were given lavish praise and encouragement for more good behavior of the same. Christian parents in the Early Church imparted a good example for children to follow, but with this good Christian example being backed up by praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment and force. Children also need religious instruction, as religion is a human need. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers here to religious instruction, meaning hearing out the Christian warning of fathers. Religious instruction started at age 6 with fathers leaving out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, fathers praised and encouraged their children to keep up the moral improvement. Religious education, from there, came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers on the context. The Christian warning here came in the form of fathers lecturing spiritually curious children as to the Hebraic context of the Bible. Children usually come to the same religious conclusions as their parents, without any need for punishment or shaming. 

The commandment to not provoke your child to wrath ultimately clarifies that discipline should not hurt, and when it does, it is not proper discipline. The Ephesians were clueless as how to discipline a child, and so the Apostle Paul spelled out how to properly discipline children. This proper discipline involved avoiding offending your child, but at the same time, discipline your child by catching them being good, and praising and encouraging good behavior. This commandment spells out the Hebraic custom of positive reinforcement, meaning catching children being good. 

The most common behavior praised in children growing up in the Early Church was self-control. Whenever a child showed discipline and self-control, they were lavishly praised to keep up the good work. When children were naughty, parents simply laughed at the child's mischief, having a good sense of humor when the child needed it most. Christian parents knew more than parents today that a child's development comes in stages, and that most childhood behaviors are due to immature development in children.

Even in the Early Church, fathers did not rape their children as a form of correction. Fathers then did not use "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting. Instead, fathers imprinted on their children through righteous masturbation to sexual thoughts of his children. This sexual dynamic in the household  ensured that fathers be warm and encouraging, albeit from a distance. Mothers nurture children up close, and fathers nurture from afar. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to wrath through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!