Proverbs 13:24: Why this is not a pro-spanking verse

Many parents cite the verse as a means to support and defend their "right" to punish their child. Most parents these days do not spank children. But, most parents still punish children in some way, usually through time-out, and justify their punitive parenting habits using the Bible. The fact of the matter, however, is that Proverbs 13:24 is not a pro-spanking verse, nor does it even have to deal with parenting minor children.

It says in Proverbs 13:24 KJV:

He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Hebrew root word translated "rod" is שםח (Latin: shebet) and refers to the rod of correction, meaning a rod of legal correction. Basically, the rod of correction was a switch or tree branch used by a father to issue to his ADULT son the 40 minus 1 lashes, in a courtroom setting, after the errant young son was convicted of a capital offense. The 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction was meant as a final chance at life, after the offender was issued many warnings beforehand that their conduct was unlawful. Adult descendants were never whipped at home, and minor children were not seen as competent enough to stand trial, and thus minor children were never whipped at all.

Isn't this how all hardship works? The rod of correction, in biblical times, was a metaphor for enduring hardship, which was seen as the chastening of the Lord. In Israel, you would say "God really whipped me today" after a long day at work. God whips His children, like only He can. But, God only whips His children when it isn't harmful. Earthly parents only whip their children when it is harmful. Minor children, in biblical times, could not be whipped under the Law, as minor children were deemed sacrosanct under the Law - they could do no wrong, even if they technically committed acts that were considered wrong. Earthly parents, during the time of Solomon, and all other times in both the Old and New Testaments, used natural parenting, meaning attachment parenting, to raise their children, since human parents are fallible when placed in a position of power.

No verse in Proverbs has to do with raising minor children. Proverbs discusses parenting adult children, and ultimately advises fathers not to shield their adult sons from hardship, but to allow adult sons to experience hardship, knowing that experiencing hardship hardens up the complexion. There are actual passages in the Bible that deal with parenting, and those advocate attachment parenting when understood in context. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children up until age 6 never left the side of mothers, ranging beside mothers when at home, clinging to her when they were crying or upset. Mothers held their childre next to their bosom when they were crying or upset, and reassured children with the words "this too will pass". When out and about, mothers wrapped up their young children next to their bosom in swaddling blankets, possibly offering the child to suckle her teat if the child was milk-hungry. Older children tagged along, and never left their mother's line of sight. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format, in order to form a secure attachment to a child, and in order to guard children from all predatory threats, including the sexual entitlement of fathers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to children by way of witnessing skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy between mother and child, wanting in on the action by way of sexual attachment to the child, imprinting on the child by way of masturbatory orgasm. The pro-social fantasy about the child - usually a daughter - usually led to a better, closer relationship between father and child, because the father felt more comfortable around his child. Daughters usually were sexually attracted to fathers as well, usually by wanting to look attractive in the eyes of their fathers. Actual child sexual abuse, in biblical times, was rare next to non-existent, with punishments for such conduct towards a child being severe in both the Old and New Testaments. The sexual abuse of children was considered a form of fornication, and such adult fornicators of children were excommunicated without chance of forgiveness from the parish they offended in the Early Church.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!