Honor your parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents think they are entitled to being honored. This is a common belief and attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents want to be honored, to the point that they demand honor from children, and back it up by punishment. Most people think that "honor parents" means don't speak against parents. The fact of the matter is that it means do not commit acts of clear and deliberate elder abuse against a parent, and otherwise, sets up the concept of providing custody for children.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment, in context, was understood not as a prohibition of all speaking against parents, but instead committing honor offenses against parents that were specifically laid out, namely in the parent protection laws. "Do not strike your parents" meant do not repeatedly beat your parents, as an independent adult, usually with the offender paying a rude visit to their parents and then beating them. "Do not curse your parents" means do not administer airborne gaslighting and send your parents on their merry way, usually coming from a rude visit, but can also come from care-dependent adults if the gaslighting came from rape. Apart from that, let the secular law be your guide in determining what is elder abuse, thus dishonoring to parents, and the law, depending on what state you are in, makes quite a few amendments to the parent protection laws. Obey the secular law for God's sake, not your punishment's sake. Elder abuse was a widely misunderstood topic in Ancient Israelite society, where an allegation of elder abuse was often met by the victim-blaming excuse of "they must have learned it from somewhere". The courts weren't doing anything about the case, even though they could, and so God laid down the parent protection laws to enable the courts to investigate and prosecute cases of dishonoring parents, meaning elder abuse.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children as their enemy, from beneath yet from above, revering and fearing children as vulnerable extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commadment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment in biblical times was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Mothers only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely using attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children up until age 6 never left the side of mothers, with young children ranging beside their mothers when at home, sometimes clinging to her when crying or upset. Children who were crying or upset were given skin-on-skin comfort and reassured with the words "this too will pass". When out and about, young children were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, suckling the teat of mothers when milk-hungry. Mothers in biblical times co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format, forming a secure attachment with them, and guarding them from all predatory threats, including the sexual entitlement of fathers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment with children, by way of witnessing skin-on-skin closeness and intimacy between mother and child, and wanting in on the situation by way of a sexual attachment to the child, where the father imprints on the child through masturbatory orgasm. Pro-social fantasy such as this led to fathers and children having a strong bond, with fathers acting as a playmate that sometimes came around and played games with the children. Fathers were always there to praise and encouragely lavishly bold feats of independence. 

Children in biblical times were under the providing custody of both their parents, but with mothers being the primary caregiver of children. Parents in biblical times were caregivers of children, not lawgivers or lawmakers. The Fifth Commandment only prohibits elder abuse as dishonoring parents, at the highest bar of severity. Otherwise, the Fifth Commandment only provides for parental headship over children, where parents are the head of the household, but in a loving way that provides for the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, including praise or accolades. Parents should be there to care for their children, not enforce law or regimented rules on children. Ancient Jewish parenting was very warm and caring, with children co-sleeping next to mothers and clinging next to her in order to form a secure attachment with mothers. Ancient Israel and the Early Church were attachment parenting societies, meaning parental headship simply meant parents were providers of nourisment and sustenance. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!