Hebrews 12:5-6: Why this is not a spanking passage

Many parents support the concept of spanking and punishing children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents still seek religious advice for how to raise a child, and most pastors cite a few verses in Proverbs, and one passage in Hebrews.

God's Word states in Hebrews 12:5-6 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation that speaks unto you as unto children, My son, despise the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. 

When understood in context, this passage is comforting to me, at least in retrospect of being caught in trying times. The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoo) and refers here to the chastening of the Lord. God whips His children, like only He can. However, God only whips His children when it doesn't harm them, whereas earthly parents whip their children when it does harm them. This passage ultimately refers to trials and tribulations, which only God is capable of doing without causing trauma. Paul here was consoling the Hebrew Christians in their persecution from Rome, using the rod of correction as a metaphor for God's discipline of His elect. God never intended for parents to be like Him in parenting. Instead, parents should bring up their children as comes naturally.

The passage in Hebrews is not a spanking passage, as it was not intended by the Apostle Paul as parenting advice. However, Paul did chime in on parenting with his divinely inspired pen. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers here to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. It is not enough to avoid spanking or punishing your children - you need to avoid any and all offense, by the child's perception. The only way around guilt according to this commandment is to be willing to make a meaningful apology to your children, especially when you lose your cool. This commandment cross-references the Eighth and the Tenth Commandments, with the Apostle Paul here convicting a group of Greek Christian parents who brought into the church the pagan custom of patrias potestas, meaning "power to the parent" in terms of a "duty" to spank and punish children. Roman law prohibited attachment parenting, but the Early Christians were attached parents nonetheless, doing attachment parenting anyway.

The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers here to long-term damages, namely trauma. The ancients had a basic understanding of childhood trauma. When a child grew up to be atheist, it was seen as a sign of trauma, not merely the atheist being seen as a "lost soul". 

Spanking was a common way for children to be dealt with under Roman law, with spanking being a pagan custom on the part of broader Greco-Roman society. However, the Early Christians shunned those customs, and instead formed a secure attachment to their children, avoiding offense in children. The concept of "biblical spanking" is ultimately a pagan custom that was absorbed into the Western Christian churches by way of European influence. 

The Bible itself was mistranslated in numerous instances, including Prov. 13:24. The rod of correction ultimately refers to a switch used on the bare back of a criminal offender, meaning it was simply a form of judicial corporal punishment that was administered when an offender ran out of warnings from fellow Jews. The reason for the rod verses in Proverbs was that otherwise, fathers would refuse to whip their errant son. Ultimately, the rod verses refer to the 40 minus 1 lashes. In Hebrews, this judicial whipping was used in a figurative tense, meaning rod language. God surely does not descend from the Heavens and physically whip His children, with this analogy instead being what is called rod language, which was a metaphor in the original Greek for enduring hardship. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath day and night forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!