The Fifth Commandment: Why "back talk" is not dishonoring them

Many parents take the attitude that their children are not allowed to speak against them. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents want to curb "back talk" in their children. The fact of the matter is that "back talk", or speaking against parents, is not what entails the moral crime of dishonoring parents. Dishonoring parents, as a moral crime, involves more than simply speaking against parents.

The Fifth Commandment reads, in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. 

This commandment only prohibits clear elder abuse, when committed by a self-reliant adult. It does not refer to merely speaking against children. Elder abuse, in biblical times, was defined further by the parent protection laws. "Do not strike your parents" means do not repeatedly beat your parents. "Do not curse your parents" means do not administer an airborne gaslighting curse to your parents. Many people did these things in Ancient Israel to their parents, and when their parents came forward about the abuse, others simply blamed them for bringing it on themselves, with victim-blaming statements saying things like "where do you think they learned that behavior from". Prior to God handing down the parent protection laws, the religious authorities did not take elder abuse seriously. Parents, however, due to their position of power and influence over children, are only afforded the most basic of protections by God, and only from their adult children that have left the house. "Dishonor" refers to honor offenses against parents. Striking and gaslighting parents are honor offenses that dishonor parents. Simply speaking against parents is not dishonoring to parents in God's eyes. Dishonoring parents is theft, not blasphemy. Offenses constituting dishonoring parents are exclusive in nature, and are only was a charge in biblical times in the worst of cases. This commandment, therefore, cannot legitimately be used to control a child. This commandment was not interpreted by the courts as prohibiting imposing a shun onto an abusive parent.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children from beneath, yet from above, revering children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating them as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Parents are to be submissive to their children, just as parent believers are also supposed to be submissive to God. Children in biblical times were prized when they were bold and rebellious. Children were seen then as sacrosanct, meaning they could do no wrong, and their rebellion often let go and even doted upon. Rebellious traits in older children in particular were seen as cute and endearing. Children issued righteous demands towards parents and other adults, and these orders and edicts from children brought parents into full and dutiful submission, striking reverent terror in parents.

Children in biblical times were seen as extensions of God, meaning installments or sentries of God called to judge righteously the charity and good will of adults towards anyone poor and vulnerable, and were called to bring out the charity - or lack thereof - in adults. Children were seen as having a deity of their own, that represented part of God's personality. Children were prized as little gods and goddesses reigning over their parents, with parents striving to win favor with their children. Whatever you did for children, you did for God. Whatever you didn't do for children, you didn't do for God. This deification of children came from the belief that God appears to us in the most vulnerable of people. See Matt. 25:31-46.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding or skin-on-skin comfort. Children went naked for a reason - so that mothers could scoop them up and snuggle with them, in order to soothe them when they were crying or upset. Mothers nurtured from up close, and fathers from afar. Fathers formed a sexual attachment to their children that was regulated by the father following the sexual thoughts to the end using masturbatory fantasy. Fathers formed a secure attachment by way of witnessing skin-on-skin bonding between mother and child. Fathers were usually playmates to children, or else guarded the home and encouraged religious growth in children.

For minor children and care-dependent adult children, the Fifth Commandment simply appoints a caregiver for said child. Parents in biblical times weren't high and mighty rulers of children, but were loving and selfless caregivers of children. Children and care-dependent adults, undet the Law, could not be charged with dishonoring parents. The Fifth Commandment merely sets up providing custody for children in relation to their parents, with parents submitting to and providing for children from beneath, yet from above, surrendering to their children as they would to God. Children called the shots in biblical homes, and ordered parents around, and parents were brought to submission by such righteous demands.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of God!