Time-in: Understanding what biblical time-in is

Many parents today think that punishment of children is acceptable. The most common way children are punished by parents these days by parents is a conjuction of time-out and corporal punishment of some kind, known to researchers as a disciplinary spanking. The alternative to a disciplinary spanking is a time-in. A time-in is where, instead of children having to go to their room, they receive loving attention from their parents when they cry or are upset. There are many ways to do this, but only one comes from the Bible.

Time-in is based off of the Christian doctrine of mutual submission. Parents are to be submissive to children, just as they are to God. In turn, children are to rest safely and securely in the submission of parents. This forms the parenting context for biblical time-in. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sactifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children just as they would to God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to theit children from beneath, yet from above, revering their children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing their children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they were adults. Women only wore clothing when outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children went naked for a reason - so that mothers could scoop them and snuggle with them, in order to soothe their crying or upset. If the child was milk-dependent, the mother offered the child the chance to breastfeed. If the child was being blatantly defiant and aggressive, he/she was held next to mothers in the fetal position. When out and about, children were wrapped up next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets.

The abovementioned is what we call the biblical time-in. How do you apply the abovementioned context today? When a child is crying, mothers should disrobe, at least to the level of underwear, but preferably all the way. Then, invite the crying or upset child to throw off the clothing. Then, embrace the crying or upset child, and hold them against your bosom, in mammary closeness. In public, this can be replicated by taking your child to the ladies' room, and tucking them underneath your shirt, holding them against your bosom, reassuring them with the statement "this too will pass". Or, if the child is under age 6, buy swaddling blankets and carry your child against your bosom wherever you go, whivh reassures children as soon as they start crying or showing upset. This approach will lead to a stoppage of tears within 1-2 minutes, but likely sooner than that. 

When mothers snuggle with their children in skin-on-skin format, it also relaxes the mother, and tones down her stress levels, so that she knows that she should have been using that sort of time-in from the beginning. Mammary closeness is effective due to the fact that the bosom is seen by children, instinctively, as a place of warmth and love. Breasts are not primarily for male enjoyment, but are for nurturing children. The bosom area of a woman, alongside the front area of a child, has nerve endings where, when there is traction between the mother and child, there is a warm feeling on either side. This does not exist between father and child. However, fathers form a secure attachment with children by witnessing skin-on-skin bonding between mother and child, forming a sexual attachment to the child that was relieved through following the sexual thoughts to the end using masturbatory fantasy. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffeting God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!