How to teach discipline to children - without spanking or punishment

Many parents want their children to learn discipline. This is a common want amongst American parents. American parents want their children to grow up disciplined and chastened up. Most parents think that the only way to teach children discipline is through spanking and other forms of punishment. The fact of the matter is that attachment parenting is the way to teach discipline to a child.

Discipline, in the Christian tense, is the absence of entitlement. The Greek root word denoting entitlement is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and is defined as, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, entitlement is the slightest of unattainable want. It is good not to want anything in life, but since we all want things in life as depraved and decadent human beings, it is good to ask politely and appropriately, and accept when receiving "no" for an answer. If a want will lead to a temper tantrum upon the person with the want hearing the word "no", don't want it, and avoid that want at all costs. Entitlement usually comes from a deserving place, meaning the person takes the attitude in life that they deserve things from others. You, dear parent, are a depraved and decadent sinner deserving of ahsolutely nothing, and should be grateful for absolutely everything. Parents must also keep in check their parental entitlement. Children are watching, and when they see you entitled, they learn to be entitled as well. So, keep your entitlement in check, including in relation to your children. Do not ever show entitlement, not even towards your children.

Discipline is a good family value to impart onto your child by example. However, every good example needs to be backed up in some way. Punitive parenting is not the way to back up discipline, as punishment of any kind leads to resentment. Attachment parenting is the only way, and is a time-tested and time-honored form of dealing with a child. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to children from beneath, yet from above, revering their children as extensions of God. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. 

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to please both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishnent and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children went naked in biblical times for a specific reason - so that mothers could scoop them up and snuggle with them in skin-on-skin format, in order to soothe and reassure their children. When out and about, children up until age 6 were wrapped up next to the bosom of their mothers in swaddling clothing. By night, mothers co-slept next to children in order to guard them from predators in all their forms, including sexual predators in the home. Fathers also formed a secure attachment in relation to children, usually in the form of a sexual attachment, usually towards daughters, and usually in connotational format. Usually, daughters were also attracted to their fathers before the onset of puberty, meaning they wanted to appear attractive to their father. Such led to a mutually unrequited sexual dynamic, with the passions on both ends being purged by masturbation, on the part of the father and the daughter. Actual child sexual abuse was rare next to non-existent in biblical times, but when it occurred, it was seen as worse than murder, and worthy of death.

Attachment parenting is the best way to teach discipline to a child. When you treat your child to attachment parenting, they will want to be like you, following in your footsteps. If your example shows discipline and avoidance of entitlement, then children will also want to avoid entitlement, in order to please you as a parent, at least eventually. They likely will not master the skill of Christian discipline right away, but by the time they are teenagers and young adults, they should be disciplined enough. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!