Hebrews 12:5-11: Why this isn't a pro-spanking verse

Many parents think that certain verses in the Bible support the use of force and control in parenting. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents do not get their parenting advice from scientific sources, but rather religious sources. However, those religious sources, namely the Bible, have been misquoted. The Bible does not condone the striking, punishment, or controlling treatment of a child in any way.

It says in Hebrews 12:5-11 KJV:

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, not sons. Furthermore we had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live? For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers in his holiness. Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

The Greek root word translated "scourgeth" is μαστιγόω (Latin: mastigoó) and refers literally to the rod of correction, and by extension, to the 40 minus 1 lashes with said rod of correction in the Old Testament. The 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction was closely connected to the death penalty in Ancient Israel, and was abolished when Christ suffered both capital and corporal punishment when being crucified. The 40 minus 1 lashes was seen by Jewish society as a second chance at life, as if you endured the lashes, and lived to tell the tale, you were given a second chance at life. Doesn't all hardship work the same way? Rod language in the Hebrew culture and language is a form of figurative language that uses God whipping His children as a symbol for enduring hardship and being strengthened by it. In Israel, if you came home from a hard day at work, you'd say "God whipped me hard today". God whips His children, like only He can, and sends hardship to believers in order to chasten them up and toughen them up. If a hardship leads to trauma, it isn't from God, but from the Evil One. God only whips His children when it doesn't harm them. Human parents only whip their children when it does harm them. Earthly parents are instead to use natural parenting, namely attachment parenting, to raise their children.

Hebrews 12 has to do with how mankind relates to his Heavenly Father, and has nothing to do with earthly parenting. Discipline from a father then was simply a challenge to read and be convicted of Scripture, with the conviction being the challenge. The challenge came in the form of "truth or dare" encouragement, leading to a religious education for children. There are, however, parenting verses in the Bible. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are to submit to their children from beneath, yet from above, revering their children as extensions of God.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towatds children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things that they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin comfort. Children then never left the side of mothers until age 6, ranging beside her until they were ready to explore on their own. Children up until age 6 were swaddled next to the bosom of mothers in swaddling blankets, when out and about. By night, mothers co-slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format, in order to protect them from predators of all sorts, including sexual predators in the home. Fathers also formed a secure attachment by imprinting on the nudity of skin-on-skin interaction between mothers and children, usually in the form of a sexual attachment, where the sexual thoughts about the child were regulated using masturbatory fantasy. Mothers nurtured up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. Most of the time, fathers acted as a playmate for children, and encouraged a religious education in children on their level, in the form of a "truth or dare" challenge. Fathers dared their children to study Scripture, and if the child chickened out, it was assumed that they weren't ready to learn that religious teaching.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!