Returning gifts: The true meaning of a gift

'Tis Christmastime once more. Many parents use Christmas gifts as a behavioral modification tool for children. This is a common way American parents punish their children. One way many children will be punished this season is by family members withholding gifts. I myself never experienced such treatment from parents. My parents merely threatened that Santa Claus would get me coal for Christmas.

Punishing a child in any way is a violation of Divine Codified Jurisprudence. It says in Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards s child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment then was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating children as quartered slaves. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

What is the true meaning of a gift? True giving comes from Christian love, meaning giving without receiving. Christian love is denoted in the New Testament by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in the context of parenting, prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to children, expecting absolutely nothing from children, valuing children as one would God. True Love is not based in pride or desire, but a place of fearful conviction, where parents are duly convicted of the fact that they are a depraved and decadent sinner, who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. This leads to the sinner/parent paying due penance for their sinful nature by serving their children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, not even respect, not even the giving of thanks.

Giving gifts to a child is the strongest act of love you can do for a child. If it is a gift, it comes with the implication that the parent or other adult expects absolutely nothing in return. Giving gifts to children is an act of charity, and nobody should expect a "thank you" for giving children a gift, or demand gratitude from a child. Demanding anything, from anyone, including a child, is entitled and ungrateful behavior in and of itself.

In terms of children's behaviors, most behaviors that most adults find to be "misbehavior" are actually developmentally appropriate behaviors given their age and developmental level. When behaviors are not developmentally appropriate, you can rest assured that it is a developmental or other mental health disorder in a child. Children naturally will grow out of those "annoying" behaviors that you as a parent hate. All a child needs is a good Christian example, and a secure attachment, and the rest works for itself.

Parents in biblical times were reverently afraid and cautious about provoking their children to anger. The slightest of offense from a child was tended to with great sensitivity by parents, with the wrath of children leading to parents appeasing the wrath of their children with giving them exactly what they wanted most of the time, and what they needed all of the time. Children were deified as their parents appeased the wrath of such deified children, trying to win over the good side of their children, much as they sought to get God on their side, with children being worshipped and venerated as extensions of God. Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church, was a child worshipping culture, not a child sacrificing culture. Children were judged in biblical times as sacrosanct, meaning children could do no wrong, even if they did wrong. This context should also guide parents in how they should approach their children this Christmas season, especially in terms of gift-giving.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!