Respect: Why parents need to earn respect from children

Many parents think they are entitled to respect from children. This is a common attitude amongst American parents. Most American parents believe that they are entitled to respect, to the point of demanding respect from children. The fact of the matter is that parents and children are to submit to each other, with the burden of proof falling on the parent. 

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in the New Testament several times. It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: as this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, expecting absolutely nothing in return, resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Children are to rest safely and securely in the presence of parents, trusting parents in all things, following mothers especially around like a gosling to a mother goose.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up this legal context in order to convict a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular belief, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore absolutely no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve both their husbands and their children. Mothers served their children by providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely attachment parenting items such as breastfeeding and skin-on-skin co-sleeping. By day, children ranged beside mothers, sometimes clinging to her. When mothers went out and about, they took their children with them, and wrapped up their children against their bosom, in swaddling blankets, keeping the child nice and toasty warm. Children up until age 6 were swaddled to mothers, otherwise never leaving her side. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century, however, was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, with mother and child fast asleep in the nude, and with children soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin contact with mothers. Fathers also formed a secure attachment to children, by witnessing the mother-child bond unfold. For fathers, secure attachment was a sexual attachment to the child, in which case the father followed the sexual thoughts about the child to the end using masturbatory fantasy. Child sexual abuse, in biblical times, was rare next to non-existent, but when sexual abuse of children did occur, the offender was seen as deserving of death, even in the New Testament, where the death penalty was abolished by Christ on the cross.

Respect for parents was a concept in biblical times, but was understood very differently than it is today. Respect for parents in biblical times meant closeness to parents, in an open way where they could tell parents anything and everything under the sun, and even give lawful and binding orders to parents. Respect then meant closeness. Parents provided for children, and then children surrendered into the loving arms of parents. Respect in parenting is earned, and the way to earn it is to form a close bond with your child, using attachment parenting strategies to kindle a secure attachment with your child. A secure attachment is a special relationship with a child where a child can tell parents anything and everything under the sun, be themselves, and trust parents in everything. The quick way to form a secure attachment with your child, as a mother, is to hold them to your bosom in skin-on-skin format. Once you have done all that, your child WILL respect you. If they do talk back, know that such is because they respect you enough to be honest about their feelings with you.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!