Christmas shopping meltdowns: How to deal with in-store meltdowns this Christmas season

Many parents think that children throwing fits in the store is bad behavior. This is a common view on children amongst American parents. Most parents punish their children just for throwing a temper tantrum in the store. However, the fact of the matter is that a child does not need that sort of response from parents. A crying or upset child of any age needs what an infant needs when they are crying - love!

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ, dutifully and selflessly submitting to children as they would God, with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents, with parents expecting absolutely nothing in return. Children are to rest securely in the presence of parents, following mothers especially around like a gosling to a mother goose. This word refers not to listening out of fear of punishment, but listening coming from a secure attachment to parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a quartered slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children often melt down in the store when parents are shopping for gifts for family members. These temper tantrums happen for various reasons. Sometimes, the child is tired. Sometimes, the child is hungry. Sometimes, the child wants something that just is too expensive. Most of the time, they just need attention, and so you give them loving attention. No matter what age the child is, treat the child crying as a baby crying, and if you are the mother, hold your child to your bosom to provide comfort and sustenance to them. Children age 6 and under should be wrapped to the bosom of mothers with swaddling blankets, with mothers preferably wearing a shirt, blouse, or dress with a low neckline in order to provide optimum skin-on-skin comfort. This reduces tantrums, and shortens the length of tantrums...This was roughly how it was done in the days of old, with some tweaking involved.

Also, avoid shopping for Christmas gifts when a younger child isn't around. Very young children up until age 6 are actually averse to surprises, meaning it startles them, but love to anticipate a known future event that will bring them joy. So, show them the gifts you are buying for them, as they are being bought, and even let them select to a certain degree. But, tell them that they can only have their gifts come Christmas morning. With school age children and teenagers, surprises shouldn't be a problem, unless they have a developmental disorder such as autism.

Christmas gifts should not be used as a token for behavioral modification. Most things our society considered "naughty" behavior is actually developmentally appropriate behavior given the stage of development that they are at. Children go through a phase where they cry and demand a lot. Then, they whine, which is developmentally more mature than crying, meaning if your children whine, they are becoming more mature. The idea is to allow these behaviors, but don't engage in any of them yourself. Children are clinically entitled, but, alongside a secure attachment, a good Christian example should ship-shape a child's entitled nature, with the child absorbing good Christian values and discipline at their own pace.

Children rarely want to undermine your position as a parent, and if they do, they have a serious mental illness that punishment is even more counterproductive and harmful. Children are clinically entitled, but it is a struggling form of entitlement. They are doing the work, naturally, to be just like YOU. Punishing a child makes them not want to be like you, and then they grow older and idolize some movie star. Children should instead idolize their parents, and do hard work to be disciplined and non-entitled like their parents. 

The Ancient Israelites, and the Early Christians, saw children as wrathful, but in a way where you kept the fire at bay by pleasing and appeasing children. Children were seen as extensions of God, meaning they were sacrosanct and could do no wrong, even when they clearly did do wrong. Parents were struck with reverent fear and terror by their children's upsets, prompting parents to submit to their children's every cry and whim, more or less bowing down to and venerating the deity of the child in the process. Adults didn't get angry when a child cried. They simply were concerned, and swift to their feet in correcting the problem being reported by the children. Parents were informed by the religious authorities that children were reporting to God on the every move of parents, and that one iota of needs neglected could land the parents in Hell...This context applies today just as it did in the days of old - this is how a child should be dealt with.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend in to the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!