Why crying is not bad behavior in children

All parents have had to deal with a crying child. Most parents believe that crying is bad behavior, and is their child trying to "undermine" them. This is a common belief amongst American parents. Most American parents punish their children for crying. The fact of the matter is that crying is not bad behavior in children. Children of all ages cry for the same reason an infant cries - they want love!

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ Sacrificed for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, and with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are depraved and decadent sinners deserving of absolutely nothing from children or anyone else, and are to earn any respect they seek to have from their children.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any form of punishments or controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thereby treating your child as a captured slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishment into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Children who cried and got upset in biblical times co-snuggled with their mothers in the nude, being held close to her bosom in mammary closeness. Children usually clung to mothers when they were upset, in skin-on-skin fashion, and mothers just cuddled and snuggled them up, in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The Early Christians didn't see children crying as a child "undermining their parents", but instead saw crying as a child's way of demanding help and assistance. Even if the child just wanted attention, attention was provided to the child, as parents in biblical times knew that attention is a need for children...This context is applicable today just as it was in the days of old, albeit with some tweaking.

How do you apply the abovementioned context in today's world? In the home, when your child is crying, invite them to disrobe by telling them that it is okay to throw off the clothing, in an encouraging way. Then, disrobe yourself, at least to the level of underwear, or else completely, and hold your child close to your bosom area, with the child resting safely and securely in mammary closeness to mother. When out and about, hold your child to your bosom in swaddling blankets, and if they cry, reassure them with your presence. When a child has skin-to-skin contact with mothers, crying should stop within 1-2 minutes. The bosom area provides comfort for children of all ages, including even school-age children and teenagers. With teenagers, hug from the front and then your teenager will be relaxed when upset or stressed.

Fathers can reassure children too, but they have to do it verbally, since skin-on-skin treatments don't work with fathers. Fathers should say things to empathize with the child. Try to remember how hard it was growing up when you didn't get what you want, and empathize with that child that you were. Then, empathize with your child the same way. When the mother is around, enlist her help and expertise in dealing with the children, as a mother is an expert on her children, and the father is to follow the advice and guidance of the mother regarding the emotional and attachment needs of her child. Usually, in a Christian attachment parenting home, the child wants the mother when they are upset, and that is because in biblical times, mothers were always there for the child, for the first 6 years of life.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!