Honor your parents: Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context

Many parents think that they are deserving of respect and honor, usually just for being parents. This is a common sentiment amongst American parents. Most American parents want to be respected and honored, to the point of imposition onto their children. The fact of the matter, however, is that honoring parents meant something very specific in the Bible, and it isn't blindly going along with parents.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

This commandment refers to, in context, specifically to elder abuse, as further defined under the Law. The parent protection laws governed how ADULT descendants treated their aging parents. Most parents were not abused in Ancient Israel, but some were, and they were isolated and shamed by broader Jewish society, who blamed them for their own abuse, usually by saying "where did they learn that behavior?". God sided with the parents in such cases. "Do not strike your parents" translated to "do not repeatedly beat your parents". "Do not curse your parents" translated to "do not send your parents on their merrt way with airborne gaslighting". Today, the parent protection laws are not binding on Gentile believers. Instead, the law should be your guide as to how to honor your parents. Striking parents in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is both dishonoring parents and rebellion against the higher authorities. Any crime committed against a parent is therefore dishonoring parents. The secular law is to be obeyed not for punishment's sake, but for God's sake, as God ordained the higher authorities, for good or for bad. See Rom. 13:1-4.  

It says in Ephesians 6:1-4 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother, for this is the first commandment with promise: That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long upon the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ Sacrificed for His children on the cross, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve, and with children resting safely and securely in the submission of parents. Parents are depraved and decadent sinners deserving of absolutely nothing in relation to children, and are to earn every bit of respect that they seek from their children.

The Greek root word translated "honor" is τιμαό (Latin: timaó) and literally refers to valuing parents at a price, meaning respecting parents for their worth. This means that parents need to earn their respect, instead of demand it. Parents were seen then not as high and mighty leaders, but as bondservants to their children, slaving for their children, with parents being seen as servile figures called to serve their children selflessly and dutifully. For children, parents were a source of entitlement, and that entitlement in children was seen as healthy in nature. Parents were there to the child to use for their own needs, whether that be nourishment, sustenance, or attachment.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch and speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishments or controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children one last time. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damages and offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen in biblical times as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong, thus treating your child as a captured slave. Paul here was lifting up this legal context to a group of Greek Christians who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child.

Submission is love, and love is submission, and parents were to submit to their children as they would to God. The Greek root word denoting Christian love in the New Testament is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to, in this context, prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, serving one's children as one would God. True Love does not come from a place of pride or desire, but from a place of fearful conviction, where parents are convicted of the fact that they are a depraved and decadent sinner who is deserving of absolutely nothing, from children or anyone else. This conviction prompts the parent/sinner to pay due penance for their sinful nature by serving their neighbor. Children were seen in biblical times as the neighbor of all parents and other adults, not the enemy.

Children, in biblical times, wore no clothing, at all, until they became adults. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of providing for them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. The core aspect of Christian attachment parenting in the 1st Century was skin-on-skin co-sleeping, where mothers and children were fast asleep next to each other, with the child soaking up the rays of mother-child closeness. By day, children ranged next to mothers, clinging to their mothers at times. When out and about, mothers held children up until age 6 close to their bosom in swaddling blankets. Children were naked for a specific reason - so that their mothers could easily snuggle and cuddle them up in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. For the first 6 years, time with children was to be spent together. For the last 6 years, time with children was to be spent apart, in order to encourage independence, and usually, children asserted their independence on their own. Bold feats of independence were encouraged by fathers especially.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!