How to teach Judeo-Christian family values to children - without spanking or punishment

Many parents in America, if not most, want to teach Judeo-Christian family values to children. We are a Christian society, with Christianity being the main religion here in the United States. Many parents think the only way to teach Judeo-Christian family values is through harsh punishment and punitive parenting. The fact of the matter is that Judeo-Christian values can be taught using non-violent, non-punitive means.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, this word refers to want, period. It is good not to want anything in life, but we all want something, and so it is good to ask politely instead of demand things from others. Ask, and you shall receive. Demand, and you get nothing. If a want leads to a temper tantrum upon hearing the word "no", don't want it, and avoid that want at all costs. If you throw a temper tantrum when you don't get what you want, you are entitled. Children are constantly watching your every move, so if you don't want them to grow up to be entitled, YOU don't be entitled in front of them, or towards them for that matter. 

On the other hand, the Greek root word denoting Christian love is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing your neighbor first, and yourself last, in a convicted way, leading to dutiful and selfless submission to your neighbor. Love is not a feeling or an action, but a state of being where the needs of everyone else come first, and your own needs come last. Love comes not from pride or self-esteem, but from a place of conviction, where you come to the knowledge that you are a worthless and entitled sinner deserving of nothing, leading to the belief that everyone around you is deserving of everything you can give them. Strive to love your fellow man, because your child is watching. If they see you loving your fellow man, they will love their fellow man as well.

These values should be taught by way of example, with Christian love setting a good Christian example for children to follow. But, every good Christian example needs to be backed up by something. Spanking and punishment does not back up anyone's example real well, as it drives children away from the Truth. Attachment parenting is the oldest tool used to gain cooperation from children, and was used in biblical times for that purpose. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to ensure that their children have a warm and loving upbringing, winning over their children's affection and respect. When attachment parenting is used to the fullest in Christian parenting, children listen to parents, automatically and out of instinct. Obedience, in the biblical tense, is not something forced upon a child, but is instead a willful choice to surrender to parents, meaning surrender into their arms, going along with whatever they do and say. This surrender is a response to submission to children by parents as the enemy of children, just as mankind is the enemy of God and is to submit to Him as such. Children and parents are to submit to each other, with the burden of proof on the parents. Parents are to fill the cup of a child up fully, meeting their every vulnerable need, and once that happens, children will not question the motives of parents, trusting in parents fully, pleasing the Lord. Attachment parenting such as this was the customary law of Ancient Israel, and the church ordinance of the Early Church.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after receiving many warnings that their punitive parenting habits were in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as any damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up this Law for a group of Greek Christian parents for bringing their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any punishment of a child whatsoever. Paul here was advocating for children growing up in Greek and Roman Christian homes, where they were being spanked and whipped for the most minute of "purity" offenses, with the parents misusing Scripture to justify their own punitive acts of aggression towards their child.

Mothers, in biblical times, were the adults primarily charged with the care and protection of children. Mothers did not gain cooperation of children through spanking and corporal punishment. Instead, mothers used skin-on-skin comforting strategies to gain the cooperation of children. Children didn't wear any clothing, at all, until adulthood. Mothers only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise, didn't wear clothing. Mothers snuggled with their children, in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, gaining cooperation through the close contact involved. Fathers also nurtured, but from afar, encouraging children in their religious education, with the encouragement guiding them in the right way. Fathers mainly stood guard, with his rod and staff ready to beat intruders to a pulp.

Fathers had a special role in instructing children in the Christian faith. What fathers would do is leave out Scripture, somewhere in the house, for the child to find and read. Most always, the child found it, and absorbed the Christian message in Scripture. Fathers encouraged children to study Scripture, and did so warmly and lovingly, also providing a good Christian example for the child. Most children first became aware in terms of religion at around age 6. Children usually followed the religious example of their fathers, and did so due to a secure attachment with mothers beforehand, which translated onto fathers.

Attachment parenting is the oldest tool in the book to use to teach good Christian values to children. It works because it elicits a want from children to cooperate with parents. A good example should be backed up by attachment parenting, because then children want to follow the example of parents. Children naturally want to be like parents or adults who they like and look up to. So, parents need to win over that good grace from children, and earn children looking up to them and liking them. Children then will follow the same Judeo-Christian family values that you do, and they will follow them in order to please you, because they look up to you and think you are a cool mom or dad. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend in to the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!