Many parents want their children to have discipline. However, most parents think that they should discipline their child by way of catching them doing something wrong, and then punishing children when they do in fact do something wrong by the parental standard.
God's Law on child discipline is spelled out to fathers especially in Ephesians 6:4 KJV:
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
The Greek root word translated "provoke...to wrath" is παροργίζο (Latin: parorgizo) and refers to offenses or damages, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by a child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by a child, stemming from entitlement. Child discipline ideally should not offend children in any way, shape, or form. However, sometimes you need to set limits in a way that offends the child, in which case the limit should come with a meaningful apology, especially if the limit was set out of anger instead of out of worry or concern. Any parent anger, especially in the course of child discipline, was deemed parental entitlement. This stanza of Eph. 6:4 refers to any upset or offense perceived by the child, and clarifies how children should be brought up in a Christian home - meaning without any offense such as punishment or force.
The Greek root word translated "nurture" is παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers here to a specific form of nurturing, namely of the teaching kind. Whenever children growing up in the Early Church were caught in the act of being good, such as showing self-control or patience, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep up the good work. Christian parents in the Early Church set a good example for their children, but backed it up with praise and encouragement, as opposed to punishment and force. In the Early Church, children were caught being good, as opposed to being caught being bad. When children did not act in a civilized manner, it was excused by parents, with parents then waiting for children to show maturity on their own. Children also needed religious instruction, as religion is a human need for children and adults alike. The Greek root word translated "admonition" is νουθεσία (Latin: nouthesia) and refers here to children hearing out the Christian warning of fathers. Starting at age 6, fathers left out a Bible for children to discover and explore. When children were caught in the act of studying the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep on studying the Bible. From there, religious instruction came in the form of question and answer, with children being curious about Scripture, and with fathers giving pointers as to the context. The warning of fathers came in the form of explaining the context to children.
Parents sometimes had to set limits with children, usually when the child was behaving in an unsafe or immoral manner. This setting of limits usually came in the form of declining a request, or else as a request from children out of the bottom of the parents' heart. Children usually were offended by the limits, in which case parents apologized by giving reassurance and an explanation for the limit set. Even then, a flat out word "no" was seldom used, with parents instead using nicer-sounding language such as "that won't work", "that can't happen", or "that isn't possible" Even then, the limit came with a meaningful apology that reassures children as to the good intent of parents. Limits were backed up not by punishment, but instead praise and encouragement.- namely a "thank you for understanding". Righteous apology came with all limits set by parents that upset or offended children. However, parents should not set limits except when absolutely necessary, as most childhood behaviors are developmentally appropriate, meaning the child will eventually grow out of the behavior. But, if the child is endangering themselves physically, mentally, or spiritually, the parent should set a limit out of the bottom of their heart. The Early Christians did not use their law to set limits in parenting, but instead gently set a limit and apologized if the limit upset the child. The child had the right to take offense to a parent's limit, in which case the only way out of guilt was to apologize to the child. Parents of dependent children could not take offense to their child's misbehavior. Limits should not be set out of anger, but instead out of worry or concern for the child's welfare.
In Christian households in the Early Church, mothers nurtured up close, with fathers nurturing from afar. For the first 6 years of childhood, children were in constant closeness to mothers, meaning kept away from the parent attraction from fathers. After age 6, children usually showed interest in religion, and once the child discovered the Bible, they were lavishly praised and encouraged to keep up the good work.
Children oftentimes cried before age 6, and no matter how tired the mother was, the father was not allowed "hand-me-down-the-slate" gaslighting. This was referred to in ancient tribal languages as "gunning down" a child who won't stop crying. This way out for mothers was not an option - mothers had to scramble to figure out what the child actually needed. Fathers did have a sexual attachment to his children, but of the connotational type. Think spray tan oil on the naked body of children, with children going naked in biblical times wherever they went.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Any comment that
1. Endorses child abuse (including pornography of such)
2. Imposes want to the point of imposition, meaning entitlement.
3. Contains self-entitled parent rhetoric, to the point of self-victimization
will not be published. Flexible application. Debate is allowed, but only civil arguments that presume the best of intentions in their opponent, on both sides.