Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior

All parents have had to deal with a crying child, now and then. Most of the time, children who cry are punished in some way, at least after a certain age. Crying is a common reason for punishment from parents. Most parents in America believe that children cry in order to "undermine my authority". The fact of the matter is that all children cry for the same reason an infant cries - they need love!

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ did for His children, with children being a Godhead for parents to serve. Parents are to sacrifice for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for God, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul. and understood in its original contest, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards a child. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damages or offenses stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding a child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul here was lifting up the Law to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any and all punishment of a child. Paul, here, was educating Greek and Roman newcomers to the Christian Church about proper Jewish parenting. The Early Christians were merely another sect of Judaism, and thus church tradition on parenting was the same as their Jewish predecessors. That is why punishment and controlling demeanor are, in fact, banned under the unwritten law of the land.

How did the Early Christians handle crying in a child? Crying in all children was seen as that of an infant. Parents scrambled to find ways to comfort the child. Children, under the Law, had to be reassured when they cried. Children were not punished for "undermining parental authority" when they cried, nor were they isolated in time-out. They were reassured and given what they needed. Children usually cried then when they needed something. There are five basic needs that a child cries for; food, water, shelter, transportation, and attachment - and the greatest is attachment!

Children, in biblical times, did not wear any clothing, at all, until adulthood. Women only wore clothing outside the home, and otherwise went in the nude to serve both their husband and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by providing nourishment and sustenance, namely breastfeeding (until age 3) and skin-to-skin comfort and intimacy. A child who cried in biblical times was treated to skin-on-skin co-snuggling, where the child snuggled with the mother in skin-on-skin fashion.

Never ignore a crying child. Whenever a child cries, they are self-advocating for a need the best they can. Any child who cries does so for the same reason an infant cries - they want YOU to soothe their worries, and meet their every vulnerable need. Children have the same complex needs as any human being, but don't have the words or self-control to advocate for what they need in a peaceable and orderly manner. They just aren't there yet. They'll get there, but they'll do so on their own accord. Punishment for crying never grew a child up - it instead delays development in a child. Children are going to act immature, as that's just what they do, and parents have to accept that. Usually, all a child needs is attention, so give them the loving attention that they need.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!