Sexual purity: How to teach sexual purity to children - without punishment or shaming

Many parents want their children to learn the Christian teaching of sexual purity. A great many American parents want their children to remain virgins until marriage. Then you have a few parents on the political and social left that have given up on teaching their children sexual purity, and allow their children to engage in sexual advances towards each other. The fact of the matter is that this is America, and we have a Christian tradition in this country. However, imparting Christian values of sexual purity should not involve punishment or shaming.

It says in 1 Corinthians 6:18 KJV:

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and most literally translates to "outside of proper channels", meaning all sexual relations outside of a lawfully-ordained marriage is sin. Marriage, in biblical times, was a license for a man to have sexual relations with a woman, meaning sexual relations outside of marriage was seen as a fraudulent marriage, thus sin. What the authorities were stating as a policy was that it is okay to have sexual relations, but only with court permission. Marriage was a means of setting a norm that regulated the sexual behavior of the Israelites and their Christian successors. Sexual purity can best be understood in terms of permissions - our bodies are a gift from God, given to us with strings attached. The condition behind that gift is that we do not collide with another body with sexual intent. When this permission was broken, the offender was deemed a fornicator, thus sexually impure, thus unclean until the even. The anti-fornication ordinances are the only uncleanness laws that apply to Gentile believers today. Sexual activity between children was prohibited, with even allowing child-on-child sexual interactions leading to an investigation once the child became an adult, motivating Christian parents in the 1st Century to use pro-social separation strategies to keep sexually interacting children separate. The age of consent/marriage under the Law of Moses was the same as the age of majority, without any close-in-age exemption.

The Greek root word translated "lust" or "inordinate affections" is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, but to sexual desire to the point of taking the first steps to approach a woman. Merely looking the look, or thinking the think, is not morally unacceptable. Approaching the approach, or doing the deed, is what God hates. There is no excuse for shaming children for masturbation if you know the Bible as understood in context. There was no sexual taboo against masturbation in biblical times.

Punishing and shaming their children for their sexuality was seen as a moral crime against children in biblical times. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after receiving many warnings that their parenting was not in compliance with the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding your child hostage merely for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed among the Early Christians, as church ordinance mandated an attachment parenting setup for all Christian parents. Christians were persecuted by the Greeks and the Romans largely due to their attached parenting views, which the Greco-Romans considered "soft" and "lenient". Corporal punishment of children was mandated under Roman law, which was a law the Early Christians civilly disobeyed.

Children in biblical times were allowed to play freely, albeit while being supervised by adults. Many, if not most, games were sexually themed. These were the high-risk games that children played then, with one of them being "marriage". Children role played a Jewish wedding ceremony. In biblical times, children went naked, and never wore any clothing. A marriage contract was finalized by sexual intercourse between the groom and the bride. Most children simply embraced when the pretend-play wedding got to that point, in which case the parents would gently but firmly separate the children, reassuring them that they would get a chance at actual sex once they found an actual bride or groom of their own.

In the case of premature sexual relations, parents in biblical times used pro-social separation strategies in the form of pro-social supervision. Parents were always supervising when children of the opposite sex were socializing and playing together, so that nothing inappropriate happened - Jewish and Christian parents watched their children closely, period. When something did happen, children were separated. Instead of punishing children for having sex, parents reassured their children that they would have sex someday, and redirected their children to solo masturbation. Jewish and Christian parents then made it clear that sex outside of marriage was unacceptable, but they did so in an encouraging way that encouraged children to delay gratification, making it a challenge. Parents had a strong bond with their children then, of the attachment parenting variety, and used it to guide their children with encouragement.

Solo masturbation was seen by much of Ancient Judeo-Christian society, including children in that society, as an alternative to having sexual relations outside of marriage. Children masturbated in the Bible, and many times, they did so starting as young as age 3. Children could masturbate in any room in the house, and parents didn't take it personally. Parents encouraged children to masturbate instead of having sex with peers. Premature sexual relations were almost unheard of in Ancient Judeo-Christian society, and this was because masturbation was so normalized as a way to regulate sexual drives. There was absolutely no shame to it. All the shame was in doing the deed itself, and having sexual relations outside of marriage, which was seen as so dirty that even naive children wouldn't do it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand! Let them be cast forever in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!