Co-sleeping: Why this is recommended in the Bible

Many parents think that co-sleeping is the irresponsible thing to do as a parent. There are many excuses as to why parents don't co-sleep with their children. The main reason is that it is seen as a risk for sexual abuse, and also, a risk for sleep dependency. Both arguments are false. Co-sleeping is the responsible choice as a parent, and the Bible, as understood in context, affirms co-sleeping as the responsible sleeping arrangement in parenting.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers are to rest securely in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. True biblical obedience is secure rest in the love and grace of parents, leading to cooperation with parents, out of vulnerable trust that parents know what is best for you. When a child is afforded skin-on-skin bonding time with mothers, they instinctively want to cooperate with parents, and comply with their instructions come adulthood. Attachment parenting was the national parenting of Ancient Judeo-Christian society, with it being mandated under Jewish customary law in the Old Testament, and also was mandated by church ordinance in the Early Church. This commandment here lifts up the attachment parenting context of the Bible. 

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and receiving many warnings beforehand that their parenting habits were out of compliance with the Law. Parents who punished their children, at all, were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen then as holding your child hostage merely for what they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. The Early Christians had no custom of child punishment, at all. The Early Christians practiced attachment parenting, and used skin-on-skin comforting strategies to gain cooperation with children.

It is common knowledge that children aged 2-5 refuse to go to bed, and that is often chalked up to "rebellion" in children. The fact of the matter is that children under age 6 are still too young to sleep on their own. This is because children under the age of 6 have a primal fear of being isolated in a room alone, and being away from their parents at night. In the ancient world, there were predators that would eat a child or at least bite them in a life-threatening way. In Ancient Israel, there existed scorpions that might bite children at night. Many parents might rationalize that there aren't any predators today to eat children. That is actually incorrect. That primal fear of being alone in a room also is a fear of sexual predation from adults. Most child sexual abuse occurs in a child's home, when they are isolated in a room alone. Co-sleeping keeps children safe from sexual predation, because the mother is right there to guard the child against sexual predation. Usually, men who are child predators, when the mother introduces co-sleeping into the sleep regimen of children, act out in an erratic way that exposes their predatory tendencies to all, in which case mothers in biblical times would divorce their husband immediately. Children, in biblical times, up until age 6 never left the side of mothers, with children up until at least age 6 sleeping next to mothers.

Many clinicians, including pediatricians and child therapists, oppose co-sleeping because it leads to sleep dependence. The fact of the matter is that children eventually want to shake off the closeness of parents. Children do so at different ages, depending on the trajectory of their development. Between the ages of 6-10, children no longer want to sleep next to parents, and want to sleep on their own. Children want to be independent on their own, and are driven to be independent. All children want to be independent, even if so at different rates. Co-sleeping does not foster dependence in children, but instead keeps them close and safe until they are ready to be independent on their own.

Mothers slept next to their children in skin-on-skin format in order to form a secure parent-child bond with children. This bond led to cooperation in children, and then compliance to parents in young adults. Respect for parents was a concept in biblical times, but that respect was based on closeness to parents, not fear of punishment. Skin-on-skin co-sleeping is the oldest and most time-honored of parenting strategies to gain cooperation from children. Children felt safe as they were held to the bosom of their mothers, either by hand of by swaddling blankets.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!