Crying: Why crying is not bad behavior

Many parents spank and punish their children. One of the most common reasons for punishment is crying. Most parents think crying can be a form of bad behavior. This is a common mistake parents make. The fact of the matter is that crying is not bad behavior. It is not a way that children "undermine" parents. It simply is a way children communicate. Most children cry for the same reason an infant cries - they want love!

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Children are to rest securely in the sacrifice of parents, just as parent believers rest securely in the Sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Parents are to ensure that their children have a warm and loving upbringing, and are to win over their children's affection and respect. When attachment parenting is used to the fullest in Christian parenting, children listen to parents automatically and out of instinct. Obedience, in the Bible, is different from ordinary obedience. Obedience, in the biblical tense, isn't "getting" your child to obey, but instead a child willfully surrendering to parents, on their own accord, in response to dutiful and selfless submission coming from parents. Children in biblical times listened automatically and out of instinct due to being able to trust the motives of parents, and trust that parents would take good care of them. When children have their cup filled to the top with what they need, they go along with their parents out of instinct, whatever they have to say, whatever they are doing, wherever they are going.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after receiving many warnings that their parenting habits were in violation of the Law. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" being defined under the Law as the slightest of damage or offense stemming from hostage-taking - child punishment was seen as holding a child hostage for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up the Law to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Paul, contrary to popular legend, was anti-spanking, and opposed any punishment of a child. Paul, in this commandment, and another version of it in Eph. 6:4, was advocating on behalf of children in Greek and Roman Christian homes, educating such parents on the proper Jewish way to raise a child. Jewish society, then and now, has never condoned the punishment or controlling treatment of a child. Judaism is the root religion of Christianity, and so the Christian parent must go by the Hebraic context of the Bible regarding parenting, with said context being opposed to all forms of punishment of children.

Mothers, in biblical times, were the primary adults charged with the care and protection of children. Mothers then did not spank or punish their children when they were crying, but instead used skin-on-skin comforting strategies to reassure children when they cried. Children wore no clothing, at all, until they reached adulthood. Mothers only wore clothing outside the home, perhaps when running errands. Mothers and children snuggled with each other, engaging in skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy.

Parents in biblical times did not see crying as bad behavior. Crying of children was normal in Jewish and Christian homes in the biblical context, and children cried a lot, and parents always saw it as a child crying out for what they needed. Children trusted their parents enough that, when parents were around, they became emotionally undone, and then cried to petition for what they needed. Usually, all they needed was loving attention.

When a child cries out of nowhere, it is because they want attention. So, why not give them attention? Children in biblical times got doting attention from their mothers, and also their fathers from time to time. Children need attention, because if they are made to be seen and not heard, they will do anything possible on their part to get the attention they need. So, just give them loving attention the first time they cry for it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be forever cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!