Pro-social self-loathing: Why self-esteem is a farce in parenting

We live in a divided country, and this is due to culture wars perpetuated by the left. Close to the core of the national divide is the debate about self-esteem versus self-loathing. I myself, as a child advocate, omit the concept of self-esteem from my advocacy. Children can go without the lesson of self-esteem. Just raise them in the Christian attached way, and they won't hate themselves.

It says in Romans 3:9-12 KJV:

What then? are we better than they? No, in no wise: for we have before proved both Jews and Gentiles, that they are all under sin; There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They have all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

This passage was written to Roman Christians in the 1st Century, who were becoming prideful in their practice of their Christian faith, thinking they were the righteous ones simply for being Christians. The Apostle Paul was correcting them on their prideful attitude towards their Christian faith. Today, this passage is a reflection of how God feels about mankind. God hates us all, merely for existing in relation to Him, with mankind deserving of nothing but DEATH and PUNISHMENT merely for existing in relation to God. God hates human beings for our incursions onto the smallest and most vulnerable of human beings - children. All adults, by default, are marked for deletion. Only a few will be saved by their own good works in avoiding parental entitlement. The rest will be punished on their last day, and/or destroyed on the very last day. When you think of yourself as a good person, you start demanding that things go your way. It is better to know you are a wicked and entitled sinner deserving of nothing, and seek to reform yourself from there.

True Christian love does not come from self-esteem or praise, but a place of conviction. The Greek root word denoting Christian love in the New Testament is αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing your neighbor first, and yourself last. Love is not just a feeling or an action, but a state of being where everyone around you comes first in terms of needs, and you come last. This love comes from a place of conviction, where you come to the knowledge that you are a worthless and entitled sinner who is deserving of nothing, leading to the belief that everyone else around you is deserving of everything. Children in biblical times were loved as a neighbor, not an enemy, in this very way.

The key to teaching humility and understatement to children is to model it to them. It is not good to tell children that they are worthless sinners, as telling a child that is a form of spiritual abuse. But, children need to know that they are not the center of the world (even though all young children go through that phase). That means that YOU need to stop seeing yourself as the center of the world, and instead be convicted that you are a worthless and entitled sinner deserving of nothing. Children will then take up your example, in which case you encourage them to take up your example. Encouragement of a religious education is a better way to guide your child down the right path than punishment or controlling measures. A child who grows up around understated and humble adults will grow up to be an understated and humble adult themselves.

This copying of adult behavior is part of childhood obedience to parents, which, in the biblical tense, is a willful and automatic act as a result of a secure parent-child bond, in which case a secure parent-child bond is crucial to having children follow your example. A secure parent-child bond involves a vulnerable, restful trust where children come to a place where they can cooperate with parents on their own accord. This form of cooperation with parents is denoted by the Greek root word υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo). See Col. 3:20 and Eph. 6:1. 

Self-esteem should only be made relevant on controlled spaces to those who have suffered severe religious trauma. Someone with a severe religious trauma was shamed and abused in the name of "God" and "Christianity". Most people in the United States have a proud trauma from lawful abuse, meaning a rebellious trauma, and usually one that is repressed.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever in to the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!