Teaching sexual purity to children - without punishment or shaming

Many parents think that children should remain sexless and have no awareness of their sexuality, making such parents sex-negative. Then, you have the left, which seeks to sexualize children beyond their years, allowing teenagers to look at obscene depictions of pornography, meaning these leftist parents are sex-positive. Sex-critical is the happy medium where enjoyment is allowed, but in moderation. America is a sex-critical country, and the Bible is a sex-critical document.

It says in Colossians 3:5-7 KJV:

Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: In the which ye walked some time, when ye lived in them.

The Greek root word translated "fornication" is πορνεία (Latin: porneia) and most literally translates to "outside of proper channels", meaning referring to any sexual contact with another person outside of marriage. Marriage then was a license allowing for a couple to have sex with each other, with the assets in the marriage merged by way of written contract, with the final contract signed on the dotted line by way of sexual intercourse. Any sexual intercourse or other sexual relations outside of this narrow allowance was seen as a fraudulent marriage. Some things commonly thought of as sexual sin aren't such. The Greek root word translated "inordinate affection" is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not to ordinary sexual desire, but sexual desire to the point of taking the first steps to approach a woman for sexual relations, with the perception of such an approach by the woman being fornication. 

Patronizing pornography led to pornography being confiscated by the church authorities. It is not good to view or patronize pornography. Pornography viewership is not a Hell-able offense, but children should be taught to hate pornography. One way to teach children to avoid pornography is to talk to them on their level about human trafficking and sexual exploitation of women. God hates pornography no matter where it comes from. We as Christians should hate it as well. See Eph. 5:4. 

Sexual purity can be understood in terms of pathogens, with the commandment against fornication being the one cleanliness law applicable to Gentile believers as well as Jewish believers. The idea is that if one even touches another person with impure intent, they become impure themselves, meaning they are defiled next to their sexual target. Once the person is sexually defiled, touching them spreads the uncleanness. God gave man his body as a gift, with the condition that it does not touch or interact with another body for sexually entitled purposes. In a consensual liaison between two lovers gone astray, the sin guilt, by default, falls on the man for allowing himself to touch a woman outside of marriage for sexual purposes, rendering him defiled and unclean until the even. In order to cleanse himself of sin, the man had to pray to God for forgiveness. This is the message that children in biblical times internalized by way of example and advice from parents. Parents had an elongated talk with their children about sexual issues - children wanted to do it, but parents encouragingly told children that they needed to wait.

Children in biblical times were allowed to masturbate, and children did masturbate then. Children as young as age 3 did masturbate. But, unlike in most ancient cultures of the time, children did not have sexual relations with each other, but instead internalized the message passed down by parents that they should wait until marriage to have sexual relations with someone they love. 

Sexual shaming, or shaming children for any mere sexual thought they may have, is a moral crime against the child, and a violation of Christian law. See Colossians 3:21 KJV:

Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including punishment and controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents who punished their children were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" referring to any damages or offense stemming from hostage-taking - punishing children was seen as holding them hostage for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this historical legal context in order to rebuke Greek Christian parents for bringing their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. There existed no such custom among the Early Christians, as the Early Church prohibited all force or entitlement within a family home. Attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance, and was an established custom within the Early Christian church communities.

Parents in biblical times took a non-shaming attitude towards child sexuality. Many games then had sexualized themes then, with most games played by children then being high-risk by today's standards. One game in particular that was very high-risk was "marriage". Children in Ancient Israel went naked everywhere they went, and were naked when they played "marriage". The game involved children role-playing a wedding. The last stage of a wedding in biblical times was sexual intercourse. However, most children simply embraced during the last stage, observing the law against fornication, listening to their parents' advice. When children did attempt to copulate, the parents were right there supervising, and broke up the incident. Children, however, were not shamed for sexual liaisons, but were told "you'll be able to do that, someday, with someone you love".

Parents in biblical times were not the shaming type on sexual issues. Children were supervised at all times, and supervision was set up to thwart any attempts of children to relate to each other sexually. Children were never left alone unsupervised. No two children were left alone unsupervised, including when a boy was interacting and playing with a girl. When children attempted to relate to each other sexually anyway, they were redirected by way of being separated, then reassured that they would know love later in life, when they become adults. 

Some children showed clear homosexual traits, in which case homosexual behavior towards a child of the same-sex was redirected towards masturbation. With most parents, the immediate redirect for children was masturbation, and then children became satisfied with pleasuring themselves. Some children were seen as impaired, because they can never marry because same-sex marriage didn't exist then. Homosexual children then received nothing but sympathy from parents, but, at the same time, no parent wished a newborn baby would be born that way. Parents tried to comfort their same-sex attracted child with the fact that they could always just masturbate when they felt the urge to sexually relate to someone of the same-sex. Disowning one's dependent child for having same-sex attractions was prohibited under the Law, as it was seen as provoking the child to anger. The child being disowned had to be an adult, and that was meant as a summary warning that they were committing the moral crime of sodomy by having sex with someone of the same sex. The Early Church was welcoming but not affirming of homosexuals, and parents were welcoming but not affirming of homosexual children. Having a sexual preference for the same sex was simply seen as a burden to carry, meaning a cross to bear. Simply being attracted to other boys or other girls was not a sin in and of itself, and the supervisory setup made any inappropriate contact with someone of the same sex to be a distant possibility for a homosexual child. Children were allowed to have crushes, but they were unrequited and forbidden to act on, and there was no opportunity for children to have sexual relations with another boy or another girl. Children in Christian homes who were same-sex attracted were told that they had the gift of celibacy - being a family man or woman takes time away from studying Scripture, whereas celibacy reserves more time for religious studies. 

Most Christian parents then used pro-social separation to teach children the dangers of fornication, for their body and for their soul. Children were always naked, but they were always supervised by an adult, usually the mother of the children. The mother or father watching the children kept two children separate when they wanted to mount each other, in a way that both were under supervision, and then both were then redirected towards masturbation by the parent, with the parent warmly reassuring them that they would be able to have sex with a woman or man they loved when they got married, or else that they had the gift of celibacy if they were homosexual. Children then learned that if they had a sexual urge for another child, usually a sibling, to take it in the other room. This drew a clear line in the sand without resorting to punishment or shaming of any sort.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!