Understanding the Fifth Commandment in context - and why respect is earned

Many parents think that the Fifth Commandment to honor parents gives them the right to demand respect from children. This is a common stance parents take in America, meaning most parents take the stance that they are entitled to respect, leading to them demanding respect. The fact of the matter is that the Fifth Commandment, directly in context, only prohibits elder abuse, paving the way for the parent protection laws.

It says in Exodus 20:12 KJV:

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.

This commandment, in context, prohibited elder abuse, paving the way for the parent protection laws. The reason for the parent protection laws was that, when parents were abused by their adult children, the plight of the parent victims was not understood by fellow Jews. Most parents were blamed with statements such as "where did they learn that behavior?". Therefore, God enacted the Fifth Commandment, and then two parent protection laws afterwards. Do not strike parents means do not repeatedly beat parents as an adult offender. Do not curse parents means do not gaslight parents with airborne gaslighting. Today, the present elder abuse laws under state law apply. In Pennsylvania, the Fifth Commandment would be applied in terms of injuries imposed by a minor offender, with "minor offender" referring to the adult child beating up on their parents. Children under the age of majority are not liable to God's Law for how they treat their parents, with the liability in children always falling on the parents in a divine court of law.

The Fifth Commandment is repeated in the New Testament, where it takes a different application for minor children. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, leading to safe and secure rest in the love and grace of parents. Children rest in the love and grace of parents, just like parents and other adult believers rest in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Parents are to serve the Godhead which is children, surrendering to and submitting to children and their every vulnerable need, with children resting in such submission, striking reverent fear into parents with their vulnerability, giving orders and decrees as to their every vulnerable need, with parents being obedient to such needs. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Judeo-Christian culture. In Ancient Israel, attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law. In the Early Church, attachment parenting was mandated under church ordinance.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in its original context, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment and controlling demeanor. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times. Parents were charged with kidnapping, with "kidnapping" referring to any offenses or damages stemming from hostage-taking - punishing a child then was seen as holding them hostage for things they did wrong. Paul was lifting up this legal context as a rebuke to a group of Greek Christian parents who brought their pagan custom of spanking and punishing children into the church. No such custom existed among the Early Christians. The Early Christians shunned all violence, including family violence. The only exception was mutual accountability between spouses, which was rare next to non-existent. Wives were subject to the law of their husband, whereas children were not under any Law. Parents kept the Law for their children until children were ready to keep it on their own. Children were simply learning the Law, and weren't expected to keep the Law until they learned all of it and were baptized as adults.

The national parenting of Ancient Judeo-Christian culture was a special, distinct form of attachment parenting where children were deified, in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were idealized and venerated as extensions of God in the family home, with parents struck with reverent fear and terror over their child's every vulnerable need, leading to parents being compelled in the Lord to surrender to and submit to children and their every vulnerable need, as an enemy, just as mankind is the enemy of God, and is to be subservient to Him as such. Parents are to be bondservants to their children, serving the every need and want of children like waitstaff. Parents in biblical times feared the wrath of their children, towing the line, seeking to please their children just as they would want to please God. 

Children went naked wherever they went, in biblical times. Women also went naked, in the family home, in order to serve their husbands and their children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of giving them nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (up until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside their mothers, sometimes clinging to her. By night, children slept next to mothers, guarded from all threats external and domestic, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Fathers also nurtured, but from afar, usually in a manner that was encouraging towards the religious education of children. Fathers spoke to their children on formal terms, until they were allowed to "break the ice" by a child, in which case they engaged in casual conversation. This distance was set in place because most adult men in biblical times were pedophiles towards their children, albeit the abstinent type. Most adult men were attracted to children in a connotational way, meaning they were made aware of that side of them by way of egalitarian parenting.

Surrender to parents is not something you force onto a child. Surrendering and submitting to parents is a choice a child makes, based on a trusting and secure bond with a parent. Children will heed the example and instruction of parents later on if parents form a secure parent-child bond with children during the early years. Submission to parents is a willful choice made by the child. All the Fifth Commandment means is that parents are the head of their children. Parents are NOT authority figures over children, but instead simply are the head of them that provides for children and their needs. Parents are to love their children, just as Christ loves His children, with the headship and example of parents sanctifying all sin in children. Children submitted in biblical times by surrendering to the love and care of parents, in a demanding way, ordering parents around. A parent, in the biblical tense, is a caregiver heeding to the demands of children, not a lawgiver that makes the demands. Children, in biblical times, gave orders to parents as to what care they need, and parents bestow the care ordered by children. Parents were servants to their children. In return, children obeyed their parents on their own accord when they were adults.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast forever into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!