Co-sleeping in the Bible: Why it is a strong biblical recommendation

Many parents think that co-sleeping is not a good idea. This is a common belief among parents, with various reasons stated. One reason is that children become "dependent" on sleeping next to parents, instead of sleeping on their own. This post points out why co-sleeping is crucial for a secure parent-child bond. Co-sleeping is THE way to bond with your child.

It says in Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children, just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with parents submitting to and surrendering to the Godhead which is children, with children resting safely and securely in this sacrificial attitude in parents. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Judeo-Christian society, Attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law in Ancient Israel, and was mandated under Christian ordinance in the Early Christian churches. This commandment lifts up the attachment parenting context for the relevance of all.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or offenses, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and understood in the context that it was written to, as a moral statute prohibiting all forms of punitive parenting, including any punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. Patrias potestas translates from the Latin to "power to the father" or else "power to the parent", and refers to a father's right under Roman law to use force as he sees fit to police his home. No analogous law existed under the Judeo-Christian law of the time. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death by way of bloodletting, after punishing their children too many times, and after receiving many warnings that their parenting was out of compliance with the Law. These warnings included a final warning of 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. The rod of correction was a switch wielded by a father towards an adult descendant, as a form of judicial corporal punishment after a criminal conviction of a capital offense. It was basically a form of pro-social triangulation where the courts pitted the father against his adult son. Whippings were rare, and happened only after an adult son was tried with the presumption of innocence beyond a reasonable doubt. A whipping of 40 minus 1 lashes was to be endured, and if you survived to tell the tale, you got a second chance at life. The rod verses, in context, compare all endurance of hardship to receiving a whipping with the rod of correction, meaning if you survived a rough patch, God gave you a second chance at life. Proverbs sometimes speaks in allegory, as it is a book of poetry and not prose.

Children between the ages of 2-6 are known to refuse to go to bed, and this is seen as a sign of defiance in children. The fact of the matter is that children this young are not old enough to sleep on their own. They are, at the lowest level, having natural fears of being isolated in a room. What they fear is predation, and there is always some merit to that fear. Most child sexual abuse happens in the child's own home, and is usually committed by a parent figure. The best solution is to sleep next to children to guard them, so they feel safe and sound going to sleep. Also, when your spouse is right there with you as well, the presence of children in bed can bring out the true colors, meaning expose predatory tendencies in a spouse. 

Children will shake off their parents naturally as they get older, usually between the ages of 6-10, but with some children sleeping alone later, and some earlier. It is a myth spread by faulty and incomplete medical research that children will become sleep dependent if they co-sleep next to their parents. The reality is that children do not sleep next to mothers forever - they WILL, sooner or later, shake you off and want to sleep in their own bed, in which case, parents should make it a challenge and see if they can keep their word. If they can't keep their word, welcome them into bed next to you.

Co-sleeping was used as a parent-child bonding tool throughout history. In Ancient Judeo-Christian culture, children up until age 6 never left their mother's side. They ranged by her by day, and slept next to her by night. Children went naked wherever they went, and mothers were naked as well in the family home. Children were naked so that mothers could easily bond with them through skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy, which occurred during co-sleeping. Mothers slept naked with their children, with the children also being naked, and mothers snuggled with their children. The children soaked up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Fathers usually were pedophiles towards their own children, and had a connotational sexual attraction to their children, and usually abstained from sexual behaviors with children. Mounting behavior and all other forms of sexual abuse was unlawful under the Law of Moses in the Old Testament, as well as Christian ordinance in the New Testament. Co-sleeping offered an extra layer of protection for children - mothers were right there, so nothing could happen.

Co-sleeping is not just for infants. Also, it won't kill your infant if you place them on top of you for the night. Co-sleeping is for children of all ages who need it by their own assertions. Children know what they need, and if we give them space, they can grow up on their own, without having to be forced to grow up by punitive parenting. All children need is closeness to parents, and some room to grow, and they will be fine. Usually, when a child isn't punished, they feel safe staying ranged right next to mothers or fathers. Co-sleeping is the most time-honored of parenting strategies out there, with attachment parenting being the most time-honored form of parenting. Long before children were punished by fathers, children were nourished and sustained by attached mothers and fathers.

The depraved and entitled parents will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them forever be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices1 Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!