Why children don't need to be disciplined (and why parents need discipline instead)

Many parents think that children need to be disciplined in order to "learn their lesson". This is a common belief among parents - that children need discipline and imposed structure in order to behave. The fact of the matter is that to raise healthy, well-behaved children into adults, PARENTS need discipline, not children. 

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition. Unofficially speaking, this refers to the slightest of unattainable want. If a want would lead to a temper tantrum if met with a "no" answer, don't want it, as it comes from entitlement. Children can't help but throw temper tantrums, but YOU as the parent can. Children are watching and observing our every move, and so we must work on our entitlement problems. It is best to start with entitlement towards your child - parental entitlement is the lowest form of entitlement possible, and guides all the others.

On the other hand, discipline, in the Christian tense, is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline that starts with admission of one's depraved and entitled sin nature, and leading to an attitude that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, leading to a chastened up example for children to follow. However, one must not expect children to follow the Christian example of parents from day one, as children are immature and impulsive, and engage in childish behaviors. These childish behaviors are a phase, and will leave as soon as they come. 

A good example needs to be backed up by something. Spanking and punishment don't work, as they drive children away from the good example of parents. Attachment parenting makes children want to follow the example of parents, and leads to children looking up to parents. The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children resting in said sacrifice. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over their children's trust and affection, and children rest in this love and good works, being a Godhead for parents to serve, with children being pampered and doted upon by parents, all the while sitting on their throne. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including the Early Church, was mandated, by way of Jewish customary law in the Old Testament, and by church ordinance in the Early Church. This Greek root word commands the use of attachment parenting as a goal to strive for, at the very least.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, at minimum, the slightest of offensive touch or speech, perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and was understood in the context in which it was given, as prohibiting any form of punitive parenting, including punishment or controlling demeanor. Paul was lifting up the Law in order to rebuke a few Greek Christian parents who brought their Greco-Roman pagan customs of spanking and whipping children into the church. These parents were citing the book of Proverbs as justification for including their pagan and idolatrous custom in with their worship. Paul was challenging these fathers to see the big picture, charging them with the commandment of "love your neighbor, and do not provoke your neighbor to anger". Such is a Jewish commandment that Christ, in fact, cited, and Paul was applying it in the negative to a Christian parenting situation. In the Greco-Roman world, the doctrine of patrias potestas, or "power to the father" (also translated as "power to the parent") meant a father had complete control over his family, legally speaking, and this was a tradition that pagan families would bring into the Early Church. Jewish law, including Christian ordinance, prohibited striking or punishing a child for any reason. Thus, spanking does not come from the Bible, but from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to the European pagan cultures who whipped and beat their children.

The national parenting of the Ancient Jewish people, including the Early Christian culture, was a special form of attachment parenting that involved deifying children, in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were seen then as emblematic of God and His Authority on earth (see Matt. 25:31-46). Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, and struck reverent fear and terror into their parents, compelling them in the Lord to respond to their every want/need. The every want/need of a child was seen then as Divine Law and Ordinance, with children being the "least of these" - refusing to give a child something was seen as refusing to give God that very thing. Children were given most of what they wanted, and everything that they needed, with children being doted upon mainly by mothers, but also by fathers.

How did this all pan out in practice? Children were naked wherever they went. Women also went naked, in order to serve their husband and their children, separately. Mothers served children with nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk (until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside mothers, sometimes clinging to them. By night, children slept next to mothers, soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Fathers also played a role in raising their children, albeit a more distant role - mothers nurtured up close, and fathers nurtured from afar. Fathers addressed their children on formal terms, until they were allowed by the child to "break the ice" and engage in casual conversation with their child. This setup of formalities was to curb parent attraction in fathers. Most men in biblical times were pedophiles, but of the abstinent type, meaning they were attracted to their own children, but not in a driven way - it was a connotational attraction that lead to idealizing children, and men channeled their parent attractions into nurturing their children whenever they could, usually by encouragement in a child's religious education.

Children learn discipline by seeing discipline in parents. However, children have to want to follow the disciplined example of parents. Attachment parenting is crucial to the development of children for this reason. One cannot expect a child to be disciplined right away, but come young adulthood, they should have the discipline of the Lord in them. In the mean time, fill the void by remaining calm and reassuring when your child is throwing a temper tantrum. Punishments such as spanking only work to drive children away from the good example of parents. Children need to be driven to follow the example of parents, and be like them, and so attachment parenting must become the norm here in America.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!