Policing attachment: Why children in the Bible policed their parents

Many parents think that they have to act as a policing force for their children, issuing orders and edicts to their children. A common understanding of parenting is that parents call the shots. However, the fact of the matter is that nowhere in the Bible does it say that children are subservient to parents. Children are to submit to parents, but in an empowered way, as this is how it was done in biblical times. Policing attachment is a form of secure parent-child bond where children are adamant about what they want/need, ordering parents around, with parents simply complying with the orders and edicts of their children.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as is denoted in the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao), and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents are to be extensions of Christ in the family home, sacrificing for their children just as Christ sacrificed for His children, with children resting in said sacrifice. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over the trust and affection of children, and children rest in such love and good works, without a worry in the world, as the extensions of God that they are, pampered on their throne. Attachment parenting was the established norm in biblical times, being mandated in Ancient Israel by way of customary law, and also mandated in the Early Christian church communities by way of church ordinance.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, as well as understood in context, as a prohibition of all punitive parenting, including any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Spanking and other forms of punishment do not come from the Bible, but instead come from the Roman Catholic Church pandering to the punitive parenting habits of European pagans who whipped and beat their children into submission. In the Greco-Roman legal tradition, there existed the legal doctrine of patrias potestas, or "power to the father" (also translated as "power to the parent"), with this meaning that fathers had power over their wives and children, and had the power to enforce law. Paul was rebuking Greek Christian fathers who were using corporal punishment to enforce law in their home, whipping the children. Unlike Greco-Roman law, Jewish law, including Christian church ordinance, prohibited any form of spanking, whipping, or punishment of a child. The rod verses in the book of Proverbs are repealed passages, meaning all seven of them. They do not refer to raising children, but to a form of judicial corporal punishment within Judaism where 40 minus 1 lashes were issued to an ADULT child convicted of a capital offense. If the offender survived the whipping, they were given a second chance at life. No such whipping was carried out by the religious authorities in the Early Church, as the Early Christian churches were completely anti-violence. Some men spanked their wives on rare occasions, such as due to adultery, when the wife felt ashamed and submitted to it willingly, but even this practice was frowned upon severely, with a man who felt the need to strike his wife or child being seen as weak for being out of control enough to strike his neighbor.

Children policed their parents for their every want/need in biblical times. In Ancient Jewish culture, including Early Christian culture, children were raised with a special form of attachment parenting that deified children in the form of pro-social deification and pro-social child worship. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, with parents struck with reverent fear and terror by their child's every demanded want/need. Parents were compelled in the Lord to provide for their children's every vulnerable need. The every cry or demand for a want/need from children was seen as a lawful and binding summonses, where parents were summoned by being called by their children when they needed something. Biblical children got most of what they wanted, and all of what they needed, being pampered and doted upon by parents while sitting on their throne.

What does this translate to, ultimately, in the modern day? Adults love to say "no" to children a lot, particularly when their demands aren't convenient. But, is it possible? If what they want is at all a possibility, and you just don't want to do it, because "I don't feel like it", do it anyway. Children don't ask for much. Maybe candy in the store? Why not just get it for them and quit your arguing? Get everything for them in the store that you can afford - and then you'll find children don't ask for much. Most things that children ask for, you can give to them. If they want a candy bar in the checkout line, it's only like a dollar or maybe less, so why not give it to them? The fact of the matter is that it is an attachment need - children see stuff as coming from YOU, and when they want something, they want proof that YOU care about them and notice them. So, just give them what they want, so they know that you care about them. Give them whatever they want no matter how nicely or forcefully they ask for what they want, as children cannot be expected to have good social graces from day one, as children are naturally demanding, and that trait will exist until they grow out of it.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke your children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!