How to teach gratitude to children - without spanking or punishment

Most parents in America still support Judeo-Christian family values, including teaching children gratitude, despite the left's continued incursion on our values. Gratitude is one value that many parents think can only be taught using spanking or punishment. The most common way to teach gratitude is a flawed one, at best - deprive children of something, usually for a set period of time. The best way to teach gratitude is by example - so be grateful for everything as a parent.

Gratitude is a form of non-entitlement where the person is happy with what they have, and don't demand any more. It is okay to ask for more, but allow the other person to issue a "no" answer, in which then you must be grateful for what you have. Gratitude is nowhere mentioned in the Bible explicitly - because the whole Bible implies it as a good lesson for PARENTS to learn. Children cannot learn a skill that their parents have not mastered.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement in the New Testament, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to, officially speaking, want, to the point of imposition, and unofficially speaking, the slightest of unattainable want. If a want could lead to a temper tantrum, don't want it, as all temper tantrums come from entitlement. Children can't help but throw temper tantrums, due to their flawed natures, but YOU can help it, and should, for their sake. Children are watching and observing our every move as adults, so it is good for parents to be a good role model in the realm of non-entitlement. Want is the definition of our depraved and entitled sin nature. It is not good to want anything in life, but we all want something, so ask politely for what you want, and accept the word "no" once issued. Children can't accept "no", and need us to reassure them that we are there for them despite the word "no". YOU as a parent can accept the word "no", and should model that skill to children. Children are watching.

On the other hand, discipline, in the Christian tense, is denoted by the Greek root word παιδεία (Latin: paideia) and refers to a specific standard of Christian discipline that starts with an admission of one's depraved and entitled sin nature, and ends up with an attitude that is entitled to nothing, and grateful for everything, leading to a disciplined and chastened up example for children to follow. Children won't follow that example right away, as children are immature and lack self-control, and that is just their nature until their brain grows and develops to a mature size and shape. Until then, parents must fill the void, and have good discipline and patience around their children, and also towards their child. When a child flies off the handle and throws a temper tantrum, a parent shouldn't fly off the handle as well - the parent should remain calm and empathize with the child's upsets, calmly and diligently reassuring the child that parents are there for comfort.

A good Christian example needs to be backed up by something. Punitive measures such as spanking and other forms of punishment don't work, and only drive the child away from the example of their parents. Attachment parenting is what Christian parents in the 1st Century used to back up their example. The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting home is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers. provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Christian parents are extensions of Christ, sacrificing for their children just as Christ did, with children resting in this sacrifice, being pampered as the extensions of God that they are (see Matt. 25:31-46), sitting on their throne, being valued by parents as like God. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over their children's trust and affection, and children simply rest in that love and good works from parents, without a worry in the world. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including Early Christian culture. Attachment parenting was mandated under Jewish customary law in the Old Testament, and church ordinance in the Early Christian context.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul, and also understood in context, as a command prohibiting any punishment or controlling demeanor towards children. Greek Christian parents stood by their legal principle under Roman law of patrias potestas, which allowed for fathers to whip boys with the cat o' nine tails, and spank girls, when children engaged in "impure" behavior, meaning any childish behavior whatsoever. Christian ordinance prohibited striking any child for any reason. The rod verses were misused by the Greek Christians in order to justify their abuse towards their children. All seven rod verses are repealed passages in the Old Testament, and don't refer to raising children at all. They instead refer to a form of judicial corporal punishment for ADULT children of fathers within Judaism in the Old Testament, where offenders convicted of a capital offense were issued 40 minus 1 lashes, and if you lived through that punishment, you were given a second chance at life, but if you did re-offend, you were put to death on the spot. MINOR children could not be charged with a crime at all, due to not being liable to the Law, and thus could not legally be punished for anything - all punishment under the Law required a criminal or civil conviction of some sort.

Children were heavily deified throughout the Bible. Children were worshipped and venerated as extensions of God, with parents being struck with reverent fear and terror by the every self-advocacy of a child's needs, with children being a Godhead for parents to answer to. Children could issue lawful and binding orders to their parents, and their every vulnerable need that was self-advocated was seen as a lawful and binding summonses from God. Children could even take their parents to court, and by that point the verdict was already decided - parents could not countersue at all in a court of law, civil or criminal, as children were in the providing custody of parents, and providing custody, under biblical law, allows children to be the plaintiff, but not the defendant, and parents the defendant, but not the plaintiff. This righteous inequality remained the case until parents fully left the house. God instated this righteous inequality because children are the more vulnerable person in an adult-child relationship, and thus their plight carries more weight than an adult.

How did this pro-social deification/child worship pan out in practice? Children went naked wherever they went. Women also were naked in the confines of the family home, in order to serve her husband and her children, separately. Mothers served their children by way of nourishment and sustenance, meaning breastmilk (up until age 3) and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy (especially during co-sleeping). By day, children ranged beside their mother, sometimes clinging to her, not leaving her side until age 6. By night, children slept next to mothers (until they established their own place to sleep), soaking up the rays of skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Christian mothers especially sacrificed themselves just as Christ sacrificed for His children, toppling themselves over for a Godhead which is children. 

Children learn gratitude by way of example. But, children have to want to look up to parents in order to follow their example. Spanking and punishment drive children away from the example of parents. Attachment parenting is what wins over children to following the example of parents. Children, eventually, will struggle to be grateful on their own accord. Until then, parents should fill the void by their example. Children shouldn't be expected to master the skill of being grateful until young adulthood.

The depraved and entitled parents and adults who provoke children to anger through punitive parenting will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!