A call to fathers: Why not to provoke your children to anger

Today is Father's Day. Many people misunderstand what it means to be a father in America. Most fathers believe that their role is one of a disciplinarian. Most fathers have not yet realized their actual biblical role. Mothers play a role in nurturing children, and mothers nurture up close. Fathers are to nurture as well, but from afar. Fathers are given a special command - do not provoke your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. God means that commandment literally, and with the "not" included.

The centerpiece of an attached Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love for children, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as the father last, in a fearful and convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in the love and grace of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, as defined under biblical law, at minimum, is the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. To give you an idea of what was considered a provocation to anger, note that fathers were not even allowed to touch children without the child's permission and/or the mother's, with the mother ultimately giving the blessing when a child consented to their father touching them. This commandment was specifically given as a commandment that prohibited all forms of punitive parenting, including punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. Greek Christian fathers were whipping their sons with the cat o' nine tails, and spanking their daughters, for "impurity" offenses, which constituted pretty much any childhood behavior that wasn't "orderly" in nature. These fathers were actually quoting the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habit. The Apostle Paul was challenging these fathers to see the big picture, and love their children as their neighbor, stating the Jewish commandment "love your neighbor, and do not provoke your neighbor to anger". Paul was also explaining that the seven rod verses in Proverbs are repealed verses. The use of the rod was closely conflated with the death penalty in Ancient Israel, with the 40 minus 1 lashes issued by a father meaning that an offender got a second chance at life. The Early Church shunned capital punishment, and thus the 40 minus 1 lashes was not carried out by church authorities, with the Early Church instead practicing excommunication of church members who violated church ordinance, and part of that church ordinance was backing up a Christian example with attachment parenting strategies, not punishment. The Greek root word translated "they be discouraged" is αθυμέω (Latin: athumeo) and refers to the long term harm of child abuse, especially the spiritual harm of abusing a child. This applied today to how we should view most atheists - people who were discouraged as children from the ways of their parents, because their parents alienated them from it with child abuse.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. Parents sacrifice themselves, just as Christ did for His children, with children being a Godhead extended to them to submit to and serve. Parents labor, toil, and work to win over the trust and affection of their children, and children rest in that love and good works, without a worry in the world, resting on their throne, with parents worshipping and venerating them as the extensions of God that they are. Attachment parenting was the established norm in Ancient Jewish culture, including Early Christian culture. Attachment parenting was mandated under the customary law of Ancient Israel, and was also mandated under church ordinance in the Early Church. 

Fathers in attachment parenting homes, then and now, have/had a parent attraction to their children, and this is a common issue in attachment parenting homes today. Most men in biblical times were pedophiles, but the abstinent type. One recommendation made by clergy in the Early Church was to masturbate to fantasies of sex with one's child. The Greek root word translated "lust" in the New Testament is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) and refers not simply to sexual desire, but sexual desire to the point of taking the first steps to approach someone who isn't your wife as a man (or someone who isn't your husband as a woman), including a child. 

How do you deal with sexual desire towards your own child? Only address them formally, meaning, by default, only to be encouraging from a distance, or else speak to them only about the bare necessities. Only have a closer interaction once invited to "break the ice" and engage in casual conversation and interaction. Even then, if the mother forbids the interaction, take it as a lawful and binding order from your wife, as wives can issue lawful orders as well as husbands, and, unlike husbands, they can back it up with divorce (see 1 Cor. 7:10-11). This setup was used in biblical times, and made the boundaries clear for fathers to follow. Pedophilic desires then weren't a constant urge to sexually prey on children, but simply a connotational attraction, like "sun tan oil". Children were completely naked throughout their childhood, but stayed close to mothers, especially girls.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!