Child sexuality: Why biblical parents were open about sexuality (in a sex-critical way)

Many parents think the Bible is a sex-negative contact. A few pedophiles not worth mentioning want the biblical context to be sex-positive. The fact of the matter is that the Bible, as a whole, is a sex-critical document, and scrutinizes the sexualities of adult men most. Child sexuality wasn't scrutinized much in biblical times.

The centerpiece of a Christian parenting relationship is Christian Agape love, as denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to prioritizing children first, and yourself as a parent last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or nothing, with children resting safely and securely in the good works of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for children does not come from fearful compliance, but instead restful trust in parents, with children being able to talk to parents about anything, including sexual matters, and expect absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return for opening up. Children had proper sexual norms modeled to them, through the atmosphere. Sexuality is a low-level topic, meaning your child will likely have your values about sexuality, and if your values are mine - no sex outside of marriage - they will not depart from those values. Talk to your children about sex, but don't do so in an encroaching way. Children are still young, and may feel uncomfortable around sexual issues, especially as it relates to their body image.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse, under biblical law, at minimum, is defined as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including, but not limited to, the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child, coming from entitlement. The Apostle Paul here was lifting up the Law on punishment and controlling demeanor towards children, rebuking Greek Christian parents for bringing their pagan custom of spanking children into the church. Christian parents of Greek origin were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their punishment habits even in the 1st Century, when this passage was written. The rod verses - all seven of them - do not have anything to do with raising children, but instead refer to an ancient, archaic legal practice within Judaism where a father was subpoenaed by the court to whip his errant ADULT son 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction as a form of legal correction warning that execution was imminent. 

Children played freely in biblical times, but with supervision from parents - and children never left the line of sight of parents. Many of the games played by children then were high-risk, in a sexualized way. The most high-stakes game was "marriage". Christian marriage, in the biblical context, was a legal contract with its basis in sexual intercourse as a signature on the dotted line. Most children embraced when the pretend-play wedding got to that point. Every once and a while, a boy tried to penetrate a girl, in which case both were separated - the sternest consequence in Hebrew or Christian homes then. Fathers reassured their sons that they would get a chance to have sex with a female someday.

Biblical parents were some of the least shaming parents concerning sexuality. Children in biblical times were not seen as asexual, and were not shielded from the sexual realities of life. Children did often witness parents having sex, and often were sleeping in the same room that it happened. Children themselves wore no clothing until adulthood. Children masturbated, and that behavior was not shamed in children. Children were encouraged to masturbate instead of have sex with each other. 

Children in biblical times were completely naked, everywhere they went. The attitude behind the nudity was a sort of pro-social tease to bring out child predators. Parents in biblical times did not cover up their children to ward off predators. Children then naturally wanted to look attractive - usually towards the parent of the opposite sex - and that was the core of their sexuality apart from masturbation, and so parents allowed girls in particular to look pretty by going naked, and didn't care if any pervert had a problem with that. Just like today, child predators usually were the type to take religion too far, and repress their sex drive towards children, which most men did not. Most men appreciated the sight of children next to women (and women didn't wear much in public either!)...This context can be applied partially today, with public child nudity obviously being discouraged. Inviting children to undress, perhaps completely, will actually help with the parent-child bond.

Children just knew that having early sex was wrong. Society encouraged abstinence through the atmosphere, and parents encouraged children to be abstinent from other-person drives, instead engaging in solo masturbation to blow off steam, which was allowed by parents as a welcome alternative to having early sex. Parents then did talk to children about sex starting at age 6. Abstinence was a life skill in terms of sexuality in that culture, and was taught in an encouraging, fun way, where children were allowed to laugh and have fun while being lectured in a sensitive way about how to be abstinent from all sexual relations with others. Children in biblical times had an active sex drive as young as age 6, usually towards the parent of the opposite sex, and then peers upon hitting puberty. 

Children should be lectured on abstinence, meaning abstinence is the only safe way to wear one's sexuality. The idea is that it, from early on, should be made a game as to who is strongest. Abstinence should be explained gently to children as a strong trait, particularly with boys, but also with girls. Virginity is a valued concept in the Bible, and can be explained as something private to save for a man that the girl, as a woman, loves enough to marry, and this can be explained in playful terms. With girls, you want to depict abstinence as a wait that is worthwhile - delayed gratification. Boys should be taught that the more they abstain from sex, the stronger they grow. Give them a failsafe by allowing masturbation, as the Greek root word for lust is επιθυμέω (Latin: epithumeo) which refers to desire to the point of taking the first steps to approach someone other than one's spouse sexually. Abstinence should be encouraged as a religious vocation. Shaming children for their sexuality only creates the attitude in them of "the grass is greener on the other side", leading to children losing their values - all because an otherwise good lesson was improperly taught.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!