Skin-to-skin closeness: Why this is crucial for a secure parent-child bond

Many parents think that compliance comes from fear. This is a common mistake made by American parents when relating to children. The reality is that skin-to-skin contact is the best way to relate to a child. 

Christian love is the central part of every parent-child bond, and is denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to putting children first, and parents last, in a convicted way leading to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children resting in the safety and security of parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This form of respect for parents does not come from fearful compliance, but from restful trust in parents, with children telling parents anything and everything on their mind, including admissions of wrongdoing, expecting absolutely no punishment or reprisal in return. Attachment parenting was the norm in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and an older child strapped to her back in a papoose bag. Boil over, then safe. That was how children rested in parents. Parents work, and children rest in the work of parents. Mutual submission.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. Child abuse was defined under biblical law as the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech, coming from entitlement. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul, from prison, was lifting up the Law, in order to rebuke Greek Christians who were misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their spanking custom that they brought into the church. The seven verses in Proverbs that refer to the rod are repealed verses, meaning they are only relevant to the cultural and legal context of the time. This is because the verses refer to an archaic form of judicial corporal punishment where the father was subpoenaed to administer 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a final warning before putting his errant ADULT son to death. MINOR children could not be whipped for anything, as any sort of whipping required a subpoena on the father of the defendant, and none could be issued with minor children, as minor age was a defense in a court of law back then. Any punishment or controlling demeanor was dealt with severely in biblical times, with punitive parents being executed for their punishment and abuse towards their children on counts of kidnapping in the Old Testament. Punitive parents in the Early Church were excommunicated. The Bible, as a whole, is an anti-spanking, anti-(child) punishment, and pro-attachment parenting legal document that is binding on this country. The Apostle Paul himself was anti-spanking and anti-(child) punishment, meaning he opposed ever striking a child.

Skin-to-skin contact is one of the simplest ways to connect with your child, and it can be done at any age before puberty. Hebrew and Christian mothers snuggled up next to their children. Children went naked in biblical times wherever they went, and mothers were traditionally naked in the house. Children and mothers then snuggled in the nude, and this lead to closeness and intimacy between mother and child, and then to cooperation and listening.

Whenever you use skin-to-skin contact with your child, you create a bond based on trust and intimacy, where the child feels safe in your presence, and trusts you completely. This leads to older children cooperating and listening to parents, like they are tethered next to their mother, or else attached at the hip. Children then shake off the closeness with their parents come puberty, seeking to form an identity apart from their parents, meaning discover who they really are. 

Children should be left to be themselves, as punishment is almost always, if not always, used on developmentally appropriate behaviors, meaning behaviors understandable given their age and development. Children, at a young age, cannot understand certain instructions from parents, no matter how many times they are repeated, as their brain hasn't formed fully yet, and thus certain instructions from parents sound like mush. Most behaviors are simply a phase, meaning they will grow out of it in due time. Crying is a normal behavior that requires empathetic listening, as is whining and pouting.

Skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy with children enhance cooperation, as well as brain development. Skin-to-skin closeness is a tool that parents can have in their toolbox to spend quality time with their child in an intimate setting, or even soothe and reassure upset. When a crying child is held close to the bosom of mothers, they calm down immediately, and feel safe next to mothers. It is the oldest trick in the book if you really want to stop the child from crying. 

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the abyss which is the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!