Punishment of children: Why punishing children is prohibited in the Bible

Many parents think that the punishment of children is commanded in the Bible. This is a common mistake made by parents about both their child and Scripture. The fact of the matter is that the Bible prohibits punishment of children.

The centerpiece of proper Christian parenting is Christian love, with that form of love being denoted by the Greek root word αγαπαο (Latin: agapao) and refers to putting children first, and parents last, in a convicted way that leads to dutiful and selfless submission to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in return from children or others, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. It is a state of shelter for children. Think holding an umbrella in the rain, and sheltering your children underneath that umbrella. For mothers, this means attachment parenting strategies such as breastfeeding, skin-to-skin closeness, and co-sleeping. For fathers, this means standing by and protecting children, keeping a distance for reasons clear to fathers. Attachment parenting was the norm in Ancient Israel and the Early Church. Think a Christian mother holding pales of water, with a young child being wrapped up next to her bosom in swaddling blankets, and an older child strapped to her back using a papoose bag. Boil over, then safe. That was the parenting then.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely child abuse in this context. This refers to the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. In this commandment, the Apostle Paul is lifting up the Law on punishment and controlling demeanor towards children. Paul was here writing to a group of Greek Christians that kept their tradition of spanking children in order to "purify" them, misusing the book of Proverbs to justify their habits. The Apostle Paul was clear in his secular documents that the verses in Proverbs were not applicable to parenting. Paul himself was anti-spanking, and also opposed punishing or being controlling with a child at all.

In Ancient Israel and the Early Church, ALL punishment of a child, as well as any controlling demeanor, was prohibited by law or church ordinance. In the Old Testament, punitive parents were put to death for kidnapping/grand theft. On that same count, in the Early Church, punitive parents were excommunicated from the church body, thus cast into Hell by collective decision. First, individual parishioners asked the defendant leading questions in a spying-type way, and then the defendant was stopped at the church gate and was ordered to either repent for the damages imposed on the child, or else be cast out of the church.

What can a parent do instead? Attachment parenting, meaning when a child is crying, do not spank or punish them, but instead hold them close in skin-to-skin fashion, at least when you get home. Attachment parenting involves forming a secure parent-child bond, and doing so from day one. The quickest way to get close to your child is skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy. Attachment parenting is what God wants for you and your child. Attachment parenting was the established norm in biblical times, with children sleeping next to mothers, with both children and mothers in the nude, in complete intimacy and bliss. The goal of every biblical parent was a secure parent-child bond, and skin-to-skin closeness ensured that close bond between mother and child especially.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punishment will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them be cast into the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!