Respect in parenting: Why the burden of proof is on parents

Many parents demand respect from their children, and cite the Bible as a resource. Respect is necessary to get by in life, but respect from your child is earned. With respect in a parent-child relationship, the burden of proof is always on the parent, and respect from children appears differently than biblical legend portrays.

Every single adult is guilty in relation to children, and is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, with parents/adults being meek and shamefaced in relation to children, and with parents shut up in the Lord. Parents especially are to esteem their child above all else, putting children first, and parents last, to the point of dutiful and selfless submission and service to children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with children being safe and secure in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Respect for parents means something different in the contextual understanding of the Bible. The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This is not a compliant or fearful form of respect, but a restful and trusting form of respect, enough that children can respect parents enough to tell them exactly what is on their mind, without mincing words, telling them anything and everything under the sun. Children in biblical times felt so safe around parents that they went naked in front of parents. Children in biblical times went naked everywhere, but were supervised by parents or other adults everywhere as well. Respect for parents in the Bible is a warm, inviting, and safe feeling where you owe nothing to parents, but end up wanting to give back anyway as a token of gratitude for your parents' hard work, and the bigger the lump sum of gratitude shown for parents, the better job they did. Usually, this involves wanting to be like a parent and follow their example. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times. Think a mother holding pales of water, with a young child swaddled next to her bosom, and an older child carried on her back, with both children being in the nude, with the mother gathering water to drink and to cook with. This is what rest in parents meant then - you rested with mother for the first 6 years of life, then befriended fathers after that. Mothers and fathers both, but especially mothers, were protective then, keeping children close to them, with children never playing outside when out of the line of sight of parents.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, namely the slightest of personal offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. This includes any striking, punishment, or any perceived entitlement from parents, meaning want to the point of imposition perceived by a child. The Apostle Paul was lifting up the Law on punishment of children, with punishing children carrying severe penalties then. Punishment of children was seen as grand theft/kidnapping and was seen as deserving of death in the Old Testament, and is a Hell-able offense in the New Testament. The seven verses in Proverbs that refer to the rod of correction are repealed verses, as though all of God's Word is holy and unblemished, some Scripture is only relevant to the culture and legal system that it was written to. These passages refer not to spanking, but to a dated form of judicial corporal punishment specific to the Old Testament, and conflated with the death penalty then - the 40 minus 1 lashes, which was a final warning before an ADULT child was put to death. Minor children could not be whipped, as a whipping required a criminal trial, and children could not stand trial in court for criminal acts nor civil wrongs that they committed. Any anger was seen as a courtroom gesture, and was to be restricted to the courtroom exchange, and since children were not to be taken to court at all by anyone, any anger towards a child was seen as perjury as well as entitlement leading to grand theft.

Attachment parenting was the norm in the Early Church, as well as among their Jewish predecessors. Mothers and fathers then served different roles. Mothers gave children nourishment and sustenance, namely breastmilk and skin-to-skin closeness and intimacy respectively. Mothers weaned their children of breastmilk within the age range of 2-3, or sometimes even older if the child blatantly refused to unlatch. Fathers were simply friends to children, constantly being dragged around like a human ragdoll. Fathers had connotational sexual attraction to children, like "sun tan oil", meaning it was simply a connotational attraction, and not a driven one. To be clear, sexually assaulting or raping a child was seen as clear sexual impurity and fornication, with the adult deserving of death. But, mere connotational attraction was normalized in that society. Parents generally had no parent anger in relation to their children. Children went naked wherever they went, and this kept the level of attachment at equal level, including with fathers. Christian men then were usually sturdy and strong, but were nonetheless beholden to their wife and children equally, and were a servant to their family, just as Christ is a servant to His bride and children, God's Church. Christian men melted for their children, especially their daughters, putting them on a pedestal, speaking of them in baroque, flowery Greek and Aramaic about their children to other men, and the parent attraction was implied and mutually monitored.

Children don't need any rules or discipline. Parents need to discipline themselves and model to children good Christian values. Children naturally absorb an example imparted onto them, at their own pace. One can instruct a child in proper behavior, but preferably only when children are behaving in an unsafe and/or sexualized manner, and if they do not understand what they did, they simply should be kept safe so they don't harm themselves or others. Most childish, immature behavior in children is to be overlooked and/or responded to with reassurance, as most childish behaviors are a phase, and serve a need. Young children cry for the same reason a baby cries - for love, and to advocate for needs. Older children whine and pout for that reason. Teenagers roll their eyes for that reason. Teenagers, in particular, need collaboration with parents in the form of good communication, so they don't feel cornered in an argument and feel the need to roll their eyes.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into the ever-burning Hell of fire and torment, suffering God's Wrath forever and ever! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!