Good Christian manners: How to teach them to children

Many parents think that children need to have manners, and that teaching manners is essential to raising polite and godly children. This is a common misconception about children, meaning children actually do not need to be instructed in manners. Instead, parents should have good manners in relation to children.

The Greek root word denoting entitlement, and cross-referencing the Tenth Commandment, in the New Testament is πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers here to parental entitlement. Officially, parental entitlement refers to wanting things from or of children to the point of imposition, leading to offenses perceived by the child. Unofficially, it refers to wanting anything from a child. Ask, and you shall receive from your child, if she is ready. Demand, and you get nothing but resentment from children. 

Every single parent and adult is guilty merely for existing in relation to children, and is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, with parents/adults being obligated to be meek and shamefaced in relation to children, being shut up in the Lord. Parents especially are to esteem their children above all else, putting children first, and themselves last, leading to dutiful and selfless submission and service to children and their every vulnerable need, expecting absolutely nothing in relation to children, with children resting safely and securely in parents. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable rest in the love and grace of parents. This refers to respect not in terms of fearful compliance, but trust and rest, feeling the security and safety of the Lord in parents. It is respecting parents by feeling safe enough to unload any and every emotion onto them, telling parents anything and everything under the sun, with parents listening and validating upset, frustration, and even pure rage from children. Attachment parenting was the norm set throughout the Bible by customary law. Think the mother holding pales of water, with a young child wrapped up in swaddling blankets next to her bosom, and another, older child on her back in a papoose bag. That was what it meant to rest in parents in biblical times.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to damages or abuse, including child abuse. This refers ultimately to the slightest of personal offenses perceived by the child, including the slightest of offensive touch or speech perceived by the child. The Apostle Paul, here, was lifting up the Law against punishing your child, rebuking Greek Christian parents who used spanking as a means to punish their children. Paul was simply citing Jewish law on the subject. Punishing children, under the Law, carried severe penalties, including death by way of bloodletting in the Old Testament, and excommunication from the church body in the New Testament. The seven verses in Proverbs that describe the rod of correction are repealed verses, meaning they are only relevant to the historical context in which they were given, as these passages do not refer to "biblical spanking" but to a dated form of judicial corporal punishment - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction, as a last warning before putting an errant ADULT son to death. Minor children could not be charged with a crime under Jewish law, thus they could not be whipped. 

In order to be totally non-offensive to children, you have to be completely non-entitled in relation to children, meaning wanting nothing from them, and being grateful for everything you have with your child already. Good manners comes in when you treat children with good manners. 

Parents do not have legal authority over dependent children under biblical law, as understood in context, but instead must ask for favors, allowing for children to deny their requests. All a parent can do is ask of their children, and if you are polite enough with children, you can get them to listen to any request reasonable given their age and development. This set enables children to learn how to ask politely by it being practiced on them. They won't get it right away, but they will get it eventually. Children, when not punished, naturally want to listen to parents. It feels like being guided by a request, giving in because you know the source of the request is trustworthy. You know mom means well, so you just listen anyway, even though no moral law commands you to. If you can't relate, you don't have an attachment parenting mother like I do. It's automatic compliance, but without the fear. You just do it. I am a care-dependent adult due to the nature of my autism, and my mother cares for me, so I just give back by listening and even paying for her tab. This is how children learn manners - they were treated politely as children.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke their children to anger will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn with the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!