Why having expectations for children is unbiblical

Many parents believe children need expectations, and that good Christian parenting involves at least some expectations. Why expect anything at all out of a child? A child is not obligated to listen to a parent's every command and order, and thus expectations are a form of entitlement on the part of parents.

Parental entitlement is denoted by the Greek root word πλεονέκτης (Latin: pleonektés) and refers to want to the point of imposition. What decides imposition? Whether you, the parent/adult, will tantrum or not when the child does not meet expectations. There is nothing wrong with expectations, if you don't impose them on children. But, isn't that the point? A preference for a child's behavior are desires for a child to behave a certain way, but backed up by a pure, non-entitled plea for cooperation, such as when backed up by "please" and then "thank you". It is acceptable in attachment parenting to state your preferences, but not to issue expectations, as expectations imply imposition of a want, whereas true growth in a child is based on trust in parents, not expectations. 

Every single parent and adult is guilty in relation to children, and is deserving of DEATH and DESTRUCTION merely for existing in relation to children, with parents/adults being meek and shamefaced in relation to children. Parents especially are to put their children's needs first, and their own needs and wants last, to the point of submission to the every vulnerable need of children, expecting absolutely nothing in return, with this being Christian love (GRK: αγαπαο, agapao). Children should be allowed to rest in the love and grace of parents, just as adult believers rest in the love and grace of Jesus Christ. See Colossians 3:20-21 KJV:

Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger.

The Greek root word translated "obey" is υπακουο (Latin: hupakouo) and refers to secure, vulnerable trust and rest in the love and grace of parents, with children trusting in parents enough to take up their example on their own, with parents imparting their preferences by expecting more of themselves, with children wanting to be like parents. Attachment parenting was the norm in biblical times, and this included mothers wrapping up even older children in swaddling blankets, holding children that were bare naked to her bosom for skin-to-skin comfort and closeness. Closeness was the main short-term goal of any parent, and children clung to mothers even as old as age 10 or even older. Older children played freely in the loving supervision of parents, but at the end of the day snuggled next to mothers, recharging for the next day, feeling safe and secure in the loving arms of mothers, and the watchguard of fathers.

The Greek root word translated "provoke...to anger" is ερεθιζο (Latin: erethizo) and refers to provocations to anger imposed upon children, based on the biblical command to love your neighbor and not provoke them to anger, with children being counted as one's neighbor, with a provocation to anger being defined as the slightest of offense perceived by the child, including the slightest of unwanted touch perceived by the child as a punishment or as control. This commandment was intended by the Apostle Paul and the surrounding legal context to prohibit all forms of punishment and control in parenting, including physical or other forms of punishment or other harsh treatment of children. Paul was rebuking Greek Christians who misused wisdom literature such as Proverbs to justify their pagan custom of spanking and whipping children, which was legally defensible under Roman law, but not Jewish law - Jewish law only allowed for force enough to remove a child from an unsafe situation (ex. busy street, predators, etc.), and allowed for no punishment after the child was rescued. The seven verses in Proverbs that deal with the rod of correction are repealed verses, as they deal with a dated legal punishment only practiced in the Old Testament - the 40 minus 1 lashes with the rod of correction. Such was only for ADULT children of Hebrew parents, as children could not be charged with a crime due to the defense of infancy. In the Early Christian context, no capital or corporal punishment was used, with instead collective shunning and excommunication being used to punish major crimes, in the spirit of pro-social non-association.

When you have expectations for anyone, including a child, you are imposing your wishes for them onto you. What would happen if the child up and refused to follow expectations? Would you feel like demanding your parental rights? Would you feel like demanding anything at all? Demanding is entitlement, as it is want to the point of imposition. When you have preferences for your child, you simply hope they go a certain way, and when they don't, pray for them as a prodigal son. 

Preferences are what you want in a child, but when things don't go your way with your child, you are willing to let it go, and accept that your child will be who they are, and/or that they might grow out of a behavior that is childish and annoys you (but not the child or anyone else). Once you feel the need to impose a preference on a child, it becomes entitlement. This goes for sexual preferences too - you may be attracted to your daughter, but when you tell her how to dress to suit your attraction to her, that is adult sexual entitlement. I myself have preferences for children, usually sexual in nature, but I am not that picky.

The depraved and entitled parents who provoke children to anger through punishment and control will not inherit the Kingdom of God! Let them burn in the lake of fire and burning sulfur, which is the second death prepared for Satan and his accomplices! Let them descend into everlasting Hell and fire, suffering God's Wrath for all eternity. Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!